History

One day in the middle of winter, in the year 2022 of the third Age of Tauren, five adventurers, destined to decide the fate of the world, found themselves helpless in the face of a snowstorm.

Orryn, the curious Forest Gnome Wizard.

Juhani, the sly Elvish Rogue.

Ryncore, the reviled Earth Genosi Druid.

Thyrus, the mighty Dragonborne Barbarian.

Umop, the tactical Half-Elf Ranger.

All destined to do great things in the name of both evil and good, all soon to be both famous and infamous depending on whose lips would utter their name in memory.

They met at a table in Skullsmasher's Tavern in the city of Illud, completely unable to leave, snowed-in.

The previous day, each of them had seen a flier in the town square inviting try-outs for the adventurer's guild, and each of them had eagerly packed their things and purchased a room.

The friendly bartender, Skullsmasher, mentioned he had a quest for new initiates: Rats in the basement.

But the was a trick to the quest: the rats seemed to keep coming back.

If the heroes could find the true source of the rats, they'd get paid and - more importantly - their admittance to the adventurer's guild was guaranteed.

The party nearly died, tripping over one another during battle in the close quarters combat, but it was a wonderful learning opportunity.

They emerged heroically triumphant over the rats, then investigated the room, finding a trap door behind the bookcase.

They found bandits on the other side, who attacked.

Unbeknowngst to the party due to lack of questioning, the bandits received a similar invitation from Skullsmasher, but to join the Thieves' guild.

Their initiation to join the Thieves' guild was to rob the party, but they got more than they bargained for.

Skullsmasher, the secret ringleader, then tried to kill the party in their sleep.

Interrogation [extremely violent, rat-related interrogation] revealed Skullsmasher to be a cultist that worships a Fungus from the Southern Swamps, working to thin the herd of new adventurers.

The party now owns a Tavern run by their servant, Boblin the Goblin.

It seems the party wasn't the bandits' first victims – among the various loot they found in their treasure chest was a map to a Liche's horcrux in the mountains of Mamgoz Sodel

The party awoke at Skullsmasher’s to a knock at the door.

They met Wyn the Wood Elf Druid, an actual member of the Adventurer’s Guild.

Walked through Illud City Square, purchased items from Vendors, and read the Community Board where they found a flier for a Wizard seeking bodyguards for trip to Alexandria.

Saw an old lady getting mugged by ruffians. Defeated the skallywags, but received only a potato in return.

Joined Adventurer's Guild. Players now receive a weekly stipend if they report to the Adventurer's Guild chapters in each city.

Adventurer’s Guild Illud Chapter Head, Bob, was murdered in his room in the middle of the night.

Investigated the murder, learned that the wizard Trozcustocioltorlath Balthornshade did it. His motives unclear - he tried to run but the heroes killed him from afar.

Full day's travel west to Drearen. Fought bears.

Found a zombie that probably leads to a dungeon halfway between Illud and Drearen, but left it alone.

Full day's travel west, arrived at Drearen which was under attack

Jumped into the fight and saved the town of Drearen.

Met Captain Morris, the new Adventurer’s Guild Drearen Chapter Head, as well as the new Drearen Knight’s Watch Commander.

Morris asked the heroes to inform Illud Chapter Adventurer's Guild of the attack on Drearen.

She advised that the Wizards of Alexandria may have a way to destroy the fungal enemy in the South.

The heroes awoke in Drearen.

They headed east, then cleared out the zombie mine halfway between Drearen and Illud - only after they noticed the number of zombies escaping the mines seemed to be growing over time.

They made it back to Illud and did some shopping, stopping by Bazlagg's Magical Trinkets where they met a wizard who introduced himself only as 'The Old Man'.

The Old Man seemed to be expecting the heroes, and provided them each a personalized present.

The party went to the Adventurer's Guild headquarters just to check-in, and received their membership allowance.

They headed north, escorting the Old Man to Alexandria, but were quickly pounced upon by a Young Brass Dragon.

They convinced the dragon they weren't very tasty, and unworthy of its efforts, and the dragon moved on.

They reached Windbow, a town of simple folk with simple beliefs - namely racism.

It seemed the village was in need of aid, and that there was likely some evil brewing there, but the heroes were unwelcome to help, so they did not help. They moved on, continuing their quest north.

They reached Falos Glad, Juhani's ancestral home, where they learend that the Great Tree was dying.

The heroes entered the Great Tree of Falos Glad, and rooted out the Phase Spider infestation inside.

They received a good deal of gold and notoriety, as well as the good will of the elves of Falos Glad.

They located the Juhani's maternal ancestral home: a very well styled, spacious apartment built into the Great Tree of Falos Glad.

Juhani used the Mysterious Key she purchased in Illud to unlock a chest full of magical items.

The heroes headed north out of Falos Glad.

They helped refugee Forest Gnomes who were attacked by wild dinosaurs.

After saving the gnomes and realizing their newfound purposelessness, the party hired them to bring their thinly sliced fried potatoes to the world as a franchise.

The Forest Gnome the heroes met was named Zook.

The heroes crossed the plains and defeated a T-rex.

They found the lost Temple of Eldath, defeated Eldath's Champion, and retrieved the treasure: three flasks of the Water of Eldath, a Flawless Diamond, and a pouch containing 20 gold pieces.

They made it to the ancient Rumblood Battlefield, where pirates earned their independence time and again through the centuries, but stumbled onto a nest of Will-O-Wisps.

The party defeated a nest of Will-O-Wisps.

They entered Rumblood, a city with a 'NO MAGIC' sign out front due to the area of wild magic in effect - a scar from some ancient cataclysm.

The guard at the gate tried to extort the heroes, but the heroes weren't having it.

They stayed at the Adventurer's Guild, and took job through Assassin's Guild to kill the Pirate King.

The party kidnapped Pirate King, tried to extort him and his crew, and eventually killed the Pirate King by strapping a cage full of hungry rats to his chest.

The party got a ship and a crew, and set sail on the open seas.

Ryncore, the Pirate King, learned he suffers from sea sickness and was incapacitated.

After some indecision with the loss of leadership and a brief consideration of detouring to Femmerogue, the heroes set sail for the Isle of Enlightenment.

The heroes defended against an attack by the paladins of Titan, who patrol the open waters and worship Pelor, god of the sun, then defeated the Siren who boarded the boat, and weathered a storm that ruined the rest of their supplies.

Reached the Isle of Enlightenment, the cathedral of monks worshiping Pelor, god of the sun. Sold a flawless diamond and refilled the ship's stock.

Reached Alexandria. Questioned by Asani. Dropped off the Old Man and got paid. Traversed the labyrinth of the library, were advised by Ezekiel to use the Water of Eldath on the original Fungus, located in the Southern Swamps, to kill all the fungus creatures.

Advised of the state of the war. The enemy allied with the Orcs of Impasse and overran Drearen and the elves of Los Thar. The western front of the war is now at Dwarve's of Stezok and the Humans of Illud.

Umop had an out of body experience after taking shrooms which revealed an animated armor dressed in divination wizard robes in a room with a 4-dimensional scroll, and during the revelation felt a more direct connection to his chosen god of Eldath. The connection to Eldath was weakened upon returning to his body.

The Old Man stole rare scrolls pertaining to the Lich of Mamgoz Sodel and escaped Alexandria.

The heroes restocked, bought some magic items, boarded their ship, and headed northwest with the intention of navigating over the edge of the world.

On their first day at sea, while passing near the island of Titan, the heroes were attacked by Titan Paladins of Pelor. They defeated the paladins, killed most of the crew by throwing them overboard, stole their ship, and burned their old ship.

On their second day at sea, they were attacked by a Giant Squid, but Ryncore the Druid opened a dialogue, claiming the slaughtered crew they threw overboard the previous evening were a tribute for safe passage. The Giant Squid let them pass.

While people in taverns across all Tauren listened to the real-time accounting of their legendary heroics, Oryn directed the crew in disassembling pieces of the ship to create a net capable of holding the rest of the ship affixed to an immovable rod manipulated by the dexterous Umop. Oryn used mathematics to gauge the appropriate speed to drive the ship over the edge, and Umop successfully lowered them most of the way to the bottom, until a critical rope snapped. It seemed they were doomed but for Thyrus' quick strength, grabbing an end of the snapped rope in each hand, holding fast just long enough for Juhani to jump in and help. They made it to the bottom.

They parted ways with their ship and crew, save for the Powder Monkey who confessed he was hired by the Old Man to stop them from completing their mission. He was paid 2000 gp up front with another 2000 gp promised if they stopped by did not kill the adventurers. After some convincing, he gave the gold to the heroes in payment for keeping him safe from the Old Man for betraying him.

They headed east along the coast until they were at the small patch of land that appears only at low tide, making way to the final stretch to the caves to the Underdark.

They made camp, finding bodies washed ashore of civilian elves killed by Orcs in the Myconid offensive.

They felt a ripple in the weave emanating from Mamgoz Sodel. The Lich has awoken.

They headed east until they were almost to the entrance of the western caves, where they were attacked by a young bronze dragon. It was a difficult fight, and in the end it was their new friend, known only as Powder Monkey, who defeated the dragon.

After, still unconscious after being stabbed in the back with a poison knife by Powder Monkey, was still being carried in a sling on Thyrus' back.

Continued forward into the Area of Stone, defeated the Medusa and Gargoyle.

Crafted a new weapon 'Medusa's Head', once per day forces enemy to roll a CON save, 1-9 results in being turned to stone (petrified – repeat save at the end of each turn), 10-13 results in a limb being turned to stone and status effect restrained (repeat save end of turn)

Thyrus caught the Sewer Plague and is experiencing fatigue and cramps and one level of exhaustion. Only regaining ½ HP from spending hit dice, no HP from long rest. End of each long rest: DC 11 CON: fail = another level of exhaustion, save = one less level of exhaustion.

Reached a fork in the road, both looking like they went in generally the same direction. Took the high ground instead of continuing through the swamp.

Defeated a nest of Harpies, harvested Harpy Feathers

Ran low on rations. Quickly obtained another day's worth of food (notes missing)

Thyrus' Sewer Plague got worse. He is now suffering a second level of exhaustion

Encountered a map maker being chased by Svirfneblin who wanted to kill him for having the knowledge of where their village was located (so travelers could avoid it). Ruthlessly murdered the map maker, appeasing the Svirfneblin, and took a 2nd day's worth of rations, a good sum of gold, and his maps from his corpse.

Travelled for some time until a black cat crossed their path. Followed the cat to its owners: a pair of Hags who seemed to be casting some ritual in a large cauldron, to which an eyeless beholder was chained. Freed the beholder, but it was blind and aimless. Defeated the Hags and put the beholder out of its misery.

Exhausted, looking for a place to rest, you spot the Hag's cottage. You hear the cat's meow from inside.

It doesn't look like you can get a good night's sleep anywhere around here, except maybe inside the Hag's cottage. You can either continue forward, suffering a level of exhaustion, or investigate the Hag's cottage.

Ryncore woke up, again feeling ready for adventure.

But when the heroes awoke at the Hag’s cottage, Umop was stuck under the hag's immovable cat.

After some time, the heroes were able to coax the cat from Umop's chest by making a bonfire and cooking it some breakfast.

They continued marching, but some of the heroes fell into swamp, resulting in a case of Sewer Plague.

In the great darkness, the heroes lit a lamp, which attracted the attention of Carrion Crawlers which attacked.

The heroes heard someone trapped in a cave - female Drow (deep elf) priestess of Lolth named Dhuunyl Duskryn.

The heroes helped her out of the cave, demanding in exchange that she relinquish her family heirloom: a simple staff.

They investigated a minecart that was resting just outside a silver mine, but it turned out to be a mimic!

After defeating the mimic, the heroes tried to rest, but the Drow showed up with friends demanding staff back. She shot the rocks above the cave entrance and caused a cave-in, trapping the heroes inside.

The heroes had actually gained respect in Drow community by taking advantage of Dhuunyl's situation, and realized this ambush was actually a sign of friendly respect.

They took a long rest, awakening in the still-closed-in cave

The heroes entered the Duergar Kingdom, met the council, and received a quest to defeat a Necromancer and return with an item in his possession.

They tried to rob the Council, then pulled a knife on Whordi, a councilmember.

Ryncore and Thyrus were imprisoned, the rest fled back North in the hopes of defeating the Necromancer and getting in the good graces of the Duergar again.

The party looted necromancer

Solved magic box, found a black coin emitting a dark energy

Made way back south to the Duergar kingdom, where Thyrus and Ryncore were awaiting sentencing

Met with Dhuunyl the Drow priestess and her group, enlisted them in the fight

Passed through the empty expanse of darkness, then reasoned a way through the minefield to reach the great Duergar wall.

Found a way up the wall, but as you neared the top the Lich arrived, riding a dragon, and began sieging the kingdom.

The Lich quickly overwhelmed the Duergar, who fled into the caves while the heroes got lost in the crowd, making their way to Thyrus and Ryncore in jail.

Meanwhile, Thyrus and Ryncore were rescued by the Old Man who they thought had betrayed the heroes when he hired Powder Monkey to thwart them at the entrance to the Underdark. The Old Man gave them a letter which contained a flawless diamond and explained everything:

The party may remember that the reason you never learned the Old Man's name was because he had a vision of his death, and the person that killed him says his name, so he doesn't tell anyone his name.

His name is Samuel Bear Banksy, which he could now tell you because he knew who was going to say his name (Power Word Kill) and kill him: the Lich.

The Lich is trying to cast a ritual in which he arranges five things in a pentagon:

1. A black helm that the Lich was wearing during the attack on the Duergar

2. A heap of Soul Coins like the one you found in the necromancer's puzzle

3. A Sentient Staff hell-bent on corruption, enslavement and destruction – previously owned by the Drow Queen, whose soul he already stole and whose land to the East he'd already sacked.

4. A Black Ring with the power to make its wearer nearly invulnerable, and to steal the souls of those it felled – owned by giants deeper south in the underdark, near magma.

5. A Talisman of Ultimate Evil – somewhere in the land of Illithids and Mind Flayers even further into the Underdark.

That's when the Lich saw you running in the crowd and descended. He landed and dismounted, then held out his hand.

The heroes knew they couldn't just attack the Lich, nor could they run. They weren't even sure what the Lich was demanding from them, since he didn't speak a word.

In the indecision that followed realizing that neither fight nor flight were options, the Lich pointed at Oryn and said the Abyssal version of his name, and he dropped dead.

Umop reasoned that it was probably the black coin that the Lich wanted, and he went to hand it to him, hoping to be spared and live to fight another day.

That's when the Old Man arrived with Ryncore and Thyrus in tow.

Reunited, the heroes retreated, carrying Oryn's body, joining the Duergar in the caves they retreated to as the Old Man squared off against the Lich in a dramatic explosion of flashing light and booming explosions that you didn't dare turn to look at.

The party were intercepted by Dhuunyl and her Drow compatriots, but you paid her off instead of fighting her, and went their separate ways.

The party reached the safety of the Duergar caves where, just as the Old Man had predicted in his letter, a Cleric was able to use the Flawless Diamond the Old Man gave you to case Revivify and resurrect Oryn.

The Cleric showed you the entrance to the tunnels that lead to the Myconid homeland, a deathtrap from which no one had ever returned.

The party entered the deathtrap and immediately triggered a trap of falling rocks.

The party defeated an Ancient Automaton

The party were paranoid in the Tunnel of No Surprises

The party solved the Music Puzzle Room by using comprehend languages to read the sheet music etched into the wall, and trying repeatedly to play something even similar to the tune.

The party entered a room with three statues of beautiful naked women and Umop immediately ran to stand on the pressure plate between them, causing him to be covered in flames spit from the statue. Then, you walked through the open door and out the room.

The party defeated a Gelatinous Cube

The party solved the Medusa Puzzle by dipping an arrowhead into a Medusa Basin and shooting the magically sealed door, and used the healing basin to heal their strange wounds from their fight with the Medusa.

The party solved the Lava Puzzle by realizing the lava and one of the statues were illusory.

Spotted a tripwire, avoided the rolling boulder (Indiana Jones).

Won the Squid Game (pillar jump).

Drank the goblet that wasn't poison (Indiana Jones).

Defeated the Autonomous Electrobot Hulk (Bioshock), a task made simple by Juhani's quick analysis of the enemy's weak points.

Found the Mirari, aka the Poking Ball, which has a millennium worth of arcane energy stored inside by the Old Man casting spells into it, to be used to defeat the Lich (MTG, Pokemon).

Overcame the endless room when the Barbarian decided to smash through the door that was unlocked the entire time.

Didn't panic in the water elevator, found the trapdoor in the ceiling.

Bypassed the riddle door by altering the riddle into 'You can enter this room' rather than speaking 'Mushroom' aloud.

Umop's immunity to sleep magic allowed an easy bypass through the Room of Spikes and Sleep

In a fit of PTSD, Oryn cleared a room of mummies with a single, powerful Fireball.

Fell through a slide of fungus and shot out of the deathtrap caves like snot from a nose, arriving sticky and wet on the outskirts of the Myconid homeland.

Were quickly greeted by a group of Myconid, who proved formidable but were quickly dispatched.

Foraged for food, found some questionable mushrooms. No one got sick, though Juhani refused to eat.

Headed into the Fungal Forest, trying but failing to avoid touching the fungus as you went, worried it might somehow warn the enemy.

Surprised by two piles of vines that sprang to life and attacked. Defeated two Shambling Mounds.

Used Tiny Hut to safely take a long rest. When you awoke, you found Myconid waiting for you.

Continued forward until you stumbled on an ancient temple dedicated to the fungus god Psilofyr, who directs the Myconid and believes in reincarnation through decomposition.

Realized the giant stalk of fungus at the center of the Myconid Homeland, the thing you were sent to kill using the Waters of Eldath in the hope it would defeat all the Myconid in one fell swoop, was probably the god Psilofyr, or at least the part of it that exists in this realm. Your mission is one of genocide and god killing.

The barbarian smashed the pedestal where you found the book describing Psilofyr, revealing a hidden compartment containing the legendary weapon Psilofyr's Thorn.

Continued deeper into the fungal forest

Rested at the ancient Temple of Psilofyr, feasted on Ryncor's magical food, gaining immensely helpful protection from poison.

Continued deeper into the Fungal Forest, easily defeated two Ropers, living stalagmites, who ambushed you.

Reached the edge of the forest and saw the god Psilofyr with over a hundred Myconid guards.

A woman with red skin who embodied their desires appeared and offered to grant a distraction on the eastern front to draw the Myconid guards away. She offered power in exchange for a favor, a soul bound contract signed only by Thyrus, who gained a level in Warlock and learned a unique cantrip extra-effective against Psilofyr.

The distraction sounded in the east, the guards cleared, and you rushed to Psilofyr and attempted to communicate with it.

Umop was overwhelmed by Psilofyr's psychic response.

Ryncore seemed like he was making a connection with the god, but Thyrus' axe severed the connection and began the fight.

Roots spawned each turn and whipped the heroes until the team changed tactics and diverted some of their attention from the stalk to its roots. The roots were easily dispatched, allowing them free reign to attack the stalk. 1000 damage later, it seemed the battle was won, but it had only just begun.

The heroes dealt with the monk-like humanoid body of Psilofyr, his distilled essence, though Umop was nearly killed.

The heroes administered Eldath's Tears and Psilofyr was beaten out of this realm, unlikely to ever return, as his body dissolved in a strange chemical reaction. He is certainly fine in other realms, but Tauren is now beyond his reach.

The heroes found a variety of special mushrooms.

Ryncore healed Umop, then the heroes heard dragon's wings beating in the east. The Lich had provided the distraction, and now he was coming for the heroes.

Bloody and tired, not ready to fight the Lich, the heroes fled for their lives into the caves to the south, heading deeper toward the next layer of the Underdark, the land of the Mind Flayers.

Fled the Lich on a quest to get to the last two components of his ritual before him. The first item is in the hands of the Mind Flayers, the other is in the control of the Fire Giants even further into the Underdark.

Entered the caves headed toward the Mind Flayers.

Almost died several times trying to shimmy across a 50-foot gap in the path. Ryncore enlarged three spiders to carry Juhani and Ryncore in its webbing.

Entered an area that appeared to be the upper world. You could see the sun, trees, grass, and an ancient elvish woman. You never asked her any questions about herself or the history of her time, but Oryn used context clues to piece together most of the story.

The party defeated the Elder Oblex, which killed the ancient elvish woman ages ago, but the monster got away using Dimension Door just before you killed it.

The party looted what remained of the Oblex's many kills throughout the millennia, finding several legendary items and a wealth of simple Ancient Elvish weapons and armor.

The party took a short rest in the Oblex's lair as it did the same, then you lured it back by reminiscing on the best memories in the campaign.

The Oblex, which ate some of Thyrus' memories, used its knowledge of Juhani's past to try to lure her away, calling to her for help while pretending to be the ex-lover Juhani left behind in pursuit of adventure.

The Oblex returned and attacked, but again retreated when it was unable to take you by surprise.

The party continued forward until you reached a passage too tight for anyone but Oryn. You made their way through and took a long rest in the same place an ancient elf once made camp for the very last time.

Thyrus' patron, Ishmael, arrived again and offered power to anyone that would promise one favor in return. No takers, but she healed Thyrus, gave him some gold, fondled him a little, and left a parting gift with Oryn – a tempting empty Dark Magic Spell Book, a tool he's not sure if using would indebt him to the patron in some way.

The party found a message left by the ancient elf, which revealed that the Fungus God Psilofyr had already been defeated once before in the past, but he was not expelled from Tauren using the Waters of Eldath because it was a necessary evil being used to keep the Mind Flayers at bay.

The party turned on one another, arguing over blame, realizing that you may have doomed the entire world.

The party pressed forward, hopeful that their efforts in stopping the Lich could coincide with a solution to the Mind Flayer problem.

The party easily defended against a horde of thirteen Intellect Devourers, brains with monster legs. Ryncore enlarged ten centipedes, which stole the enemy's attention and grouped them together. Oryn capitalized on the moment with a well-sculped Fireball, and they were gone.

The party pressed forward until the caves opened to reveal a giant ocean spread before you, the giant waterfall at the end of the world on their left and right.

The party realized the rocky shore on which you now stand is miles below the spot where you first entered the Underdark, just after being attacked by Powder Monkey and slaying their first dragon.

Not sure how to proceed without a boat, you made camp.

When you awoke in the morning, you were surprised to find a group of Drow disembarking from a boat to the east. They approached you peacefully, and the leader introduced himself as Dusk, son of the high priestess, the same Drow priestess with whom you crossed paths with back at the Duergar kingdom.

The party were each given a Ring of Stupidity, to help conceal theirselves from the Mind Flayers.

Dusk's ship and his small crew are at their disposal.

Entered the second layer of the Underdark: the underground ocean of the Mind Flayers.

The party met Dusk, son of the new Drow High Priestess, and learned that the Lich destroyed their homeland and killed his people. The lich captured many of the Drow's souls inside Soul Coins, like the one you found from the necromancer. You know these coins to be one of the items the Lich needs to complete his ritual.

The same Drow priestess you had a run-in with back at the Duergar kingdom returned home and took the crown as High Priestess, and swore revenge against the Lich.

Dusk, her son, is now at their service, as is his ship which is made of the wood from the underground roots of the Great Tree of Falos Glad.

The party spent their time at sea gambling while wearing Rings of Stupidity to pass the time, and learned a new Drow game called Deceit.

The party encountered a Brainstealer Dragon at sea and defeated it.

A plant budded from the deck of the ship.

The one you call Ishmael visited, seemingly just to say hi and annoy you, and give Thyrus a bag of fried potatoes.

Ryncore created three giant spiders to relieve the crew of their rowing duties. The crew was appreciative.

The Lich flew by, travelling much faster than even you as he rode his enormous dragon, occasionally teleporting ahead to gain speed.

The party run ashore and their hull is breached. Ryncor's spiders weave webs to patch the hull and everyone helps barrel water from the boat.

A ghost ship of ancient dwarves, killed by the same obstacle you'd just overcome, boarded their ship and attacked. You easily dispatched of them.

Ryncore noticed the bud growing from the deck had grown very quickly, and sensed a positive presence from it. He caused it to grow faster, and it grew to become a conduit to the Mielikki, goddess of the forests.

Mielikki advised you that you were about to be beset by the Bitch Queen Umberlee, goddess of the sea, on behalf of an ally who you assume is connected to the Lich or Ishmael in some way. She said to go to the Water Temple to the southeast to appease Umberlee.

The party pressed for more information, but Mielikki said she was barred by the law of the gods from disclosing more, then she left.

Sure enough, you soon found theirself sailing through rough waters. Several hours into their slow trek to the Water Temple, several Water Elementals boarded their ship and nearly killed the entire party.

Umop was all but dead, with two death saves failed.

Oryn had failed one death save.

Thyrus only stood back up because he was too angry to die.

It was in that pivotal moment that Ryncore breathed life back into Oryn, and the tiny wizard made a bold move, jumping inside one of the enemies to line-up a perfect shot, sending electricity coursing through all the enemies and himself, turning the tide of the battle.

Ryncore rushed to Umop's side and healed him from the brink of death, and the party lived.

The party arrived at the water temple, where two Aboleths (giant shark/squid aberrations) were on guard.

Ryncore used his new title as Mantle of Mielikki to gain access to the temple for official godly business, but he then stepped through Mielikki's dimension door to return to Falos Glad and complete Mielikki's mysterious will.

Juhani changed into something more comfortable – magic skimpy armor. Then, you swam into the water temple, a giant bust of Umberlee, goddess of the sea, her mouth agape swallowing the ocean.

The party found a shrine inside.

Thyrus discovered inner peace when he put a shell up to his ear.

Juhani angered Umberlee by attempting to steal gold from the shrine, but Umop made it right.

The party made an offering at the altar which caused the temple's mouth to close and the water to drain down its metaphorical esophagus, revealing the first level of the temple.

Oryn translated the riddle on the door, and as a team you solved the riddle to gain access to the room beyond.

The party solved the puzzle of the Captain's Ale by simply using a water flask.

The party descended further, Oryn translated the riddle on the door, and as a team you solved the riddle to gain access to the room beyond.

The party solved the puzzle of the Toilet Bowl room by side-stepping the giant fan and using a bow.

The party defeated three Water Elementals, heavily harnessing the power of elemental damage.

The party descended further, Oryn translated the riddle on the door, and as a team you solved the riddle to gain access to the room beyond.

Oryn and Thyrus were badly scalded by steam billowing from within the room.

Thyrus at first was unable to use his strength to open the stuck door – probably because of the inner peace he'd glimpsed for a moment when he put the seashell to his ear. Juhani reminded him where a Barbarian's strength comes from, and Thyrus' second attempt nearly sent the door off its hinges.

The party quickly solved the Fibonacci puzzle in the Icebox room, and Umop used his last flame arrow to destroy the ice surrounding the button. When the ice began to fall from the ceiling in deadly crashes, Umop and Juhani sprinted straight over the tiles in their panic and set off a flurry of explosions.

Oryn casted Tiny Hut and you got a long rest.

The party descended further, Oryn translated the riddle on the door, and as a team you solved the riddle to gain access to the final room.

The party defeated their mirror-selves and met with Umberlee.

The party found her to be unreasonable, rude, and altogether just the worst.

The party learned that she was stopping you because of a debt she owed to Asmodeus, king of the Nine Hells.

The party each offered her a tribute and, to their surprise, it was enough to sway her fickle mind and allow you to pass through her seas.

She flooded the temple, and you rushed back into the central corridor, where you rode the flood back to the entrance of the temple.

The mouth opened and you swam back to their ship.

Only after flopping their wet, tired bodies onto the deck of their ship did each of you realize that you have a new item in their inventory

Oryn finds a small piece of mildew-covered driftwood. On the front of the driftwood are four very sharp blue emeralds, glowing with a faint bioluminescent teal. On the other side of the driftwood, opposite the blue emeralds, are four ring-like slots for you to slide their fingers through. Unarmed attacks made while wearing this deal an additional 1d6 piercing damage. Using this as an arcane focus to cast spells expends one of four charges and causes one of the four emeralds to stop glowing (recharge four slots per long rest). Spells cast with this as their arcane focus are water-flavored (different effect for each spell). Alternatively, you can extend all four charges to make a ranged melee attack on one target within 10 feet. Four fists made of water extend from the four emeralds, making four unarmed attacks. Treat each attack as a separate unarmed attack (remembering the 1d6 additional piercing damage).

Umop finds a new arrow made entirely of ice in his quiver. This arrow has three states: solid, liquid, and gas. While in solid form, attacks with this arrow deal water/ice damage instead of piercing damage. Then, shards of ice shoot from arrow, dealing 1d4 water/ice damage to anyone within 5 feet of the target. Then, the shards of the arrow turn into a liquid or gas (depending on the object hit). If gas, it turns to liquid in 1 round. If liquid, it trickles toward you at a speed of 45 feet per round. Once at their feet, it will solidify, and you may pick it up as a free action.

Thyrus finds a large, beautiful seashell. Once per day, you can hold this seashell to gain the opposite of their barbarian rage: inner peace, restoring 3 ki points. During combat, you can spend a ki point to do any of the following:

1. Flurry of Blows – attack two more times with unarmed strikes (punch or kick).

2. Patient Defense - all attacks against you have disadvantage until their next turn.

3. Step of the Wind – disengage or dash as a bonus action, jump distance doubled (stacks with Winged Boots for 60' jump).

4. Deflect Missiles – as a reaction to a projectile attack (other than Magic Missile) made against you, you can catch or deflect the projectile. When you do, you take 1d10+3 less damage. If that reduces the damage to 0, you can spend another ki point to redirect the attack (at an enemy, etc.).

Juhani finds a dagger made of the same stone as the temple and blessed by Umberlee herself, albeit with some salt. It glows a bioluminescent teal, providing 15 feet of light when held aloft and ironically making it more difficult to remain concealed while wielding. Besides having the same stats as her current melee weapon, all damage dealt by this weapon is water damage. If you stab someone in the back with this dagger while you have advantage, you deal an additional 1d8 damage.

The party each received a Boon from Umberlee.

The party spotted a strange, spindly rock formation that extended all the way from the bottom of the sea to the ceiling of the great Underdark cave. Dusk informed you that it extends even further, through the ceiling of the first layer of the Underdark and into the surface world, where it becomes the island plateau of Alexandria. Dusk said that ships disappear in these waters.

The party sailed through some sort of invisible barrier, then suddenly found theirself on the other side of the spindly structure. You realized that you had lost time, but their direction was unchanged.

The party continued sailing until you happened upon a wrecked ancient Drow ship. You gathered several bundles Ancient Falos Glad Tree Root Wood. You used their anchor to go to the sea floor, facing a school of piranhas on the way. On the sea floor, you found Ancient Drow Armor that provides CHA +1, and ornamental Ancient Drow weapons. You also found a treasure chest and gold worth a total of 12,000 gold (chest included).

The party continued sailing until you happened upon a Drow ship flying a yellow flag to call for aid.

The party answered the call, realizing as you approach that you'd stumbled onto stranded Druids of Psilofyr, starving and stranded now that their god is dead. Among them was Spear Mentos, Juhani's ex-lover, a Wood Elf from Falos Glad.

Dusk demanded their death, having killed his people and stolen their ship, the Druids being at war with the Drow for countless years. Juhani insisted they live. You took them prisoner. You searched their ship and found a Staff of Hither Tither.

Tensions rose.

Juhani had only just convinced Spear that the heroes were on a mission to bring Psilofyr back from the dead by killing the Lich, when she killed all her companions without explanation.

The rest of the heroes rushed to investigate the disturbance, finding a room of corpses and most of their problems solved.

Spear raged, but was quickly rendered unconscious by Juhani.

Juhani kept guard while everyone slept, and heard the creaking of someone approaching the hold, thinking twice when they realized it was guarded.

The party continued sailing the next day until you happened upon a whirlpool. You anchored the ship to the immovable rod to keep from being sucked into the middle. Oryn cast Detect Magic to investigate the cause of the whirlpool, causing a surge of Wild Magic which resulted in all of his hair suddenly falling off.

Understanding the whirlpool to have been caused by a Wild Magic area effect, you simply took a long rest until the errant spell dissipated. Again, Juhani kept watch over Spear, but no one came this time.

The party awaken refreshed.

Tensions are high. The crew wants Spear dead. Spear wants everyone else dead. For now, Juhani refuses to leave her guard and feeds Spear through a latch in the door.

Everyone but Juhani is playing a game of Deceit to pass the time, talking about what to do about Juhani and Spear.

Ishmael dropped by and gifted Thyrus a Hellhound and a pair of fire-resistant gloves. She advised them to abandon their quest.

The heroes defeated three Ithilid Scouts.

Spear escaped her cell and killed the crew, Dusk included, dying in the process.

The heroes took the Ithilid Scout Ship and sailed to the Ithilid City.

When you arrived, you witnessed the Lich tearing a hole through the ceiling of the Underdark, causing Rumblood to fall into the heart of the Mind Flayer city.

The Lich killed the Elder Brain in charge of the Mind Flayers and took the Amulet of Ultimate Evil, then used it to create a fissure that dropped the Mind Flayer Horde and what remained of Rumblood into the Nine Hells.

The Lich left. The heroes, knowing there was no way to out-pace the Lich and assuming their quest failed, began to loot the Throne of the Elder Brain.

Thyrus spoke with Ishmael, who gave him bracers of resist fire.

Umop convened with Eldath, who said there was still hope.

Oryn contacted Boblin to check in for the first time in months, who said they'd become quite wealthy.

Oryn noticed a very strange building, and the heroes investigated.

The party entered Savras' Temple, which repels the Mind Flayers by emitting a psychic resonance.

Umop solved the first riddle by speaking “Future” to gain access to the inner temple.

The party solved the Room of Scrying by pointing the scry at their current location – beneath Rumblood.

The party solved the Room of See Invisibility by finding an invisible key and unlocking an invisible door.

The party solved the Room of Tongues by reading twenty languages.

The party solved the Room of Detect Good and Evil by choosing a non-neutral alignment:

1. Thyrus walked the path of Evil, because of the wrath in his heart and the contract on his soul.

2. Juhani joined him, because of her decisive, efficient disposal of obstacles.

3. Umop, touched by the peaceful Mother of the Garden Groves, Eldath, walked the path of Good.

4. Oryn followed, finally straying from the path of neutrality that kept his options open until now.

The heroes, one half good, one-half evil, then solved the Room of Portent by right of destiny. They placed the head of an automaton, starting a projector slideshow of them performing great deeds of heroics in the distant past.

They were confused as to why they would be pictured in historical events, but the heroes continued forward into the final room of the temple.

The heroes convened with the Savras, the god of Wizards and Divination. Although Savras couldn't directly tell you how to proceed, you were able to figure out theirselves that you may be able to use the Rings of Stupidity to make it past whatever barrier protected the strange spire in the sea where you lost time before.

The heroes had already suspected that the spire may provide a way to traverse the layers of the Underdark more quickly, and Savras all but confirmed their suspicion.

With a flash of light, the staff Savras had inhabited was once again a simple wooden staff with no particular magical properties, but he left you with a final gift: an Amulet of Translation (works on written languages). A nod to how difficult you found the Room of Tongues.

The heroes slept in Savras' Temple before heading to the exit, where Ismael appeared.

Ishmael performed a small ritual with Thyrus and granted him another level in Warlock.

To show off his newfound power, Thyrus cast Protection from Good and Evil on Orryn.

The heroes loitered at the entrance of the temple for some time as they made a plan to fly back to the ship. A Mind Flayer spotted them.

By the time the heroes were ready to leave, two more Mind Flayers arrived. They tried to blast the heroes out of the sky as you flew away, but Orryn was saved by Thyrus' spell and was able to tow the other weightless others along to safety.

The heroes regained consciousness and flew over the Urophion that line the edge of the island.

The heroes reached the stolen Ithilid ship and piloted it to the spire where they'd lost time a few days before, playing a couple games of Deceit along the way.

The heroes donned their Rings of Stupidity and went through the invisible field surrounding the spire, and suddenly they were able to think clearly as if they weren't wearing the rings.

The heroes reached the spire, where they solved a riddle to open the Fashoff's Great Lift.

They rode the lift up to Alexandria, where they met with Ezekial, the Archmage.

Saw Ezekial's invention, a glider.

Orryn contacted the pirates who were watching the hero's ship. The pirates agreed to stop by Alexandria in three days to trade supplies and offload some weapons and armor (+1 weapons and armor for everyone).

The heroes took the lift down to the third layer of Underdark, a place filled with lava where gravity is stronger and everyone's movement speed is returned by five feet.

The heroes awoke the Dwarven Centurions that guarded the lift for millennia. They defeated the centurions, but not before Thyrus was killed.

The heroes dragged Thyrus' body back onto the lift and asked Ezekiel for help, but there was nothing to be done.

The party buried Thyrus, said a few words, and planted his Mushroom of rebirth on top of his grave.

The heroes awaited the rebirth of Thyrus in different ways each. Umop stood vigil over the grave, Juhani worked on the glider, and Orryn dove into studies of the way of the Monks.

Thyrus was reborn, his beautiful scales now a dull gray-green, the color of the Myconid.

The pirates arrived, and the heroes purchased a great deal of ill-gotten armaments and potions.

The heroes dispatched the pirates with orders to invade the Isle of Enlightenment and kidnap a skilled potion maker.

The heroes took Fashoff's Great Lift to the third layer of the Underdark, and walked past the exit where Thyrus died to find a maze of volcanic rock populated by countless living creatures.

Ishmael appeared and Thyrus confirmed his undying devotion.

The heroes followed a group of Kobolds to their cave, and Juhani approached one known as Snott.

Snott offered to give the heroes directions to the Fire Giants in exchange to defeating an Adult Red Dragon that had been plaguing the Kobolds.

enjoy south.

The heroes reached the great Gorge of Phlegethon, crossing it with great difficulty, almost losing Juhani to the pit of lava below.

The heroes continued south until a rock slide caused Thyrus to fall down a small cliff, where he landed in a Lava Troll's nest, squishing their eggs.

The heroes defeated the lava trolls, then continued forward until they reached the volcano where the Adult Red Dragon roosts.

There was no obstacle but fear between the heroes and the dragon's lair, the path clear and direct. It was like walking into a coliseum.

The heroes thought to try to trick the Kobolds by taking a Dragon's Scale and running away, but they overheard Snott's fart in the rocks just overhead. The Kobolds had followed to enjoy the entertainment.

The heroes convinced the Kobolds to join them in the fight, and the brave little things agreed. Snott, as the smartest of these Kobolds and leader of the tribe, decided to stay back while three other Kobolds agreed to join.

The stage was set, and everyone was preparing to jump into the epic battle, when Juhani snuck up on Snott and threatened to kill him if he didn't tell her where the Fire Giants were.

Snott, as brave as any Kobold in the face of death, refused.

Juhani held true to her word and disemboweled Snott, then gave the signal for the other individuals formerly referred to as “heroes” to double-cross the remaining three Kobolds.

One of the Kobolds was kicked into the dragon's lair, waking the dragon who quickly gobbled the brave Kobold in one bite.

The other two Kobold quickly died in the dragon-fire that reigned down on the entire group.

Between the fire, the claws and the chomping teeth, two of the party were on death's door in moments.

The party scrambled to the exit, Orryn's unconscious body being carried. Thyrus' hellhound was swallowed whole.

The pup's sacrifice gave the party the seconds they needed to escape back into the tunnel, avoiding the dragon's teeth by mere inches as it tried to burrow into the tunnel that could only fit its snout.

Frustrated, the dragon unleashed its fire breath, but Umop raised a wall of wind and Orryn backed it up with a wall of stone.

Orryn went back and closed the other end of the tunnel, sealing them within, then summoned a magical tiny hut.

Beaten, with little hope of escape and less hope of saving the world, the heroes climbed into the tiny hut and rested.

OFF-SCREEN: the pirates are dead at the hands of the Monks at the Isle of Enlightenment, and their ship is gone.

The heroes awoke in a closed-in tunnel in the side of the volcano where the Adult Red Dragon roosts.

Just outside the other side of the tunnel, a horde of angry Kobolds was likely to be waiting.

The heroes had no idea which way to go next, and almost no hope of saving Tauren from whatever fate the Lich was planning.

At their darkest point, the one they call Ishmael arrived. She congratulated the heroes on their evil deeds, informed them that their ship was wrecked and their pirates are being sent to a penal colony on Titan, and gave Thyrus an undead rat.

She offered to sell the heroes the answer to which way to go next for the price of a single favor from someone other than Thyrus. The heroes asked her to return in a day with the same offer if they hadn’t found their way.

Ryncore appeared through one of his god-touched portals and brought you to their so-called intervention.

The party followed Ryncore and appeared in the center of a coliseum.

Several good-aligned gods appeared, and communicated that they couldn’t directly help, but that they provided a space for the heroes to blow off some steam without worrying about time passing or the possibility of death.

The heroes were in a standoff, not sure if they would resort to attacking one another. Tensions rose.

The barbarian Thyrus, the least likely to see through the confusion and offer peace, walked to center of the battlefield and threw his axe to the ground.

That’s when Ryncore offered a reward to the winner.

Orryn made the first move, hitting Ryncore and Juhani with a blast of lightning before retreating fifty feet into the air.

Thyrus used his winged boots to leap fifty feet into the air and swipe Orryn out of the sky, sending him tumbling to the ground where he took a beating that nearly killed him.

Orryn stood and unleashed a brilliant spectrum of light, dealing massive damage to all three of the other heroes, all in different ways as they were hit with different colors of light.

Thyrus swung his axe and ended the wizard Orryn, then closed the distance to the Ranger Umop, who he hit with his axe.

Knowing he stood no chance in close combat with Thyrus, Umop shoved his immovable rod into Thyrus’ belt and twisted before activating it, then dodged Thyrus’ attack as he escaped behind his wall of wind.

Enraged, Thyrus deftly leapt free of the rod.

Seeing red, Thyrus made the decision that decided the battle when he saw the usually invisible Rogue Juhani. Thyrus cut pursuit of Umop and attacked Juhani, and the elf and half elf worked together to put Thyrus down.

With only Juhani and Umop remaining, Umop’s successful cast of Hunter’s Mark on Juhani at the beginning of the fight, coupled with the damage from Thyrus’ attacks, left Umop the victor.

Ryncore awarded Umop his prize: a potato, and the wisdom that when peace was so close at hand, the heroes turned on one another over a potato.

Ryncore brought the heroes back through the dimension door and back to where they started: in a closed-in tunnel in the side of a volcano between an Adult Red Dragon and a horde of angry Kobold, with no idea which way to go next.

The heroes awoke in a closed-in tunnel in the side of a volcano between an Adult Red Dragon and a horde of angry Kobold, with no idea which way to go next.

After much deliberation and planning, the heroes created an opening on the side of the Kobolds, allowing them in one at a time to slaughter them until they filled the opening with bodies.

Realizing this strategy wouldn’t work for the entire horde, the heroes removed their wall of stone and unleashed their fury on the Kobold horde.

First, Umop broke their forces in two with a Wall of Wind through the center of their ranks, killed twenty Kobolds.

Juhani and Thyrus, not as great with crowd control, held their own by taking out the closest ones and keeping the magic wielders safe.

A few big spells for Orryn, and two hundred Kobold lay dead before the heroes.

Juhani tried to scale the volcano for a good view, quickly falling to the ground, more used to scaling trees than rocks.

Umop, being from the land of Los Thar to the west, near Mamgoz Sodel, used his mountain climbing skills to make it to the top instead.

Umop saw that this entire area seemed to be one large dome with only one entrance/exit to the North, presumably leading to the land of the Mind Flayers where you came from.

The only settlement Umop saw was the Kobold village to the North, halfway to the entrance.

The rest of the area seemed to be scattered rock and lava populated by dinosaurs. The volcano, where the heroes were, was at the center of the large dome.

Realizing the way forward was almost certainly through the adult red dragon, the heroes deliberated on what to do next at great length, eventually hatching a plan.

Orryn cast Fly on Thyrus, instructing him to fly as fast as he could and land just after flying over the Kobold settlement, that being the furthest reach of Orryn’s concentration.

Thyrus did so, except that he forgot the instructions to land. He plummeted 120 feet, but dusted it off and continued to the Fashoff’s Great Lift, which he rode back to the world above, arriving in Alexandria where he planted the Mushrooms of Rebirth for Orryn, Juhani, and Umop.

Orry, Juhani, and Umop stayed behind and waited for two days until the Lich arrived, estimating it would take about ten to fifteen minutes from the moment the Lich arrived in the third layer of Underdark until he reached the volcano.

As soon as the Lich arrived, Umop heroically shot the Adult Red Dragon from where he waited at the top of the volcano. The dragon flew at Umop and Umop dove into an attack, stabbing the dragon’s snout and using it to stay outside its mouth. He struggled and fought bravely, but the dragon ate him, all a part of the heroes’ plan.

Ten minutes later, the Lich and his dragon arrived. Orryn cast Comprehend Language to eavesdrop on the conversation between the two dragons as the Lich’s dragon requested passage and the adult red dragon denied it.

The Lich and his dragon dove into their attacks, and fire breath met fire breath, and the Lich cast his Beam of Pure Evil, sure to overpower the red dragon.

And in that pivotal moment, Orryn cast Dimension Door, placing himself just behind the Lich on the dragon’s back.

Orryn lifted the Poking Ball into the air and saw the Lich’s thick armor, and realized he might not have the might to push the spikes through the Lich’s armor. In a moment of quick, heroic thinking, Orryn used the Poking Ball on himself, expecting a great explosion that would kill everyone in the volcano, including the Lich.

Unfortunately, the explosion was actually an implosion. There was a great flash of light and the Lich and both dragons fell to the base of the volcano, destroying the dragon’s horde and collapsing great portions of the volcano on top of the scene.

Juhani scrambled to dig her way through the rubble, making a hole just big enough for her to see through.

She saw that both of the dragons were nothing more than smoldering corpses, but the Lich, clearly more than half dead, was stumbling toward a cave tunnel, clearly the way to the land of the Fire Giants.

Juhani shot an arrow through the small hole, landing it straight through the Lich’s torso, but the Lich did not fall. Instead, he limped the few final steps to the cave entrance, disappearing into the darkness.

Juhani the final survivor, followed the wounded Lich into a cave tunnel.

When Juhani rounded a corner, she was surprised to see the Lich waiting behind a corner. She fought bravely, especially surprised as she was, but in the end the Lich held her head in his cold hands, paralyzing her with his touch as the life drained from her body.

With all three souls in their Mushrooms of Rebirth, the one called Ishmael communicated with Thyrus through his undead rat, and asked to call in her one favor: to eat the mushrooms.

Thyrus refused, and Ishmael swore she would send her hounds until he was dead and his soul was reaped. Thyrus lost his Warlock powers and his rat exploded.

Three days later, the heroes were reborn.

Shortly thereafter, the Lich completed his ritual and the land of Tauren became the Tenth Hell.

Ezekial opened a portal to the Fugue Plane – limbo – where the Old Man was waiting. The Old Man brought the heroes back through portal, and showed the heroes the ancient Book of Asmodeus, which contains a ritual that can undo the Lich’s evil work. It requires lighting five beacons of hope scattered across the Overworld of Tauren, and complete a ritual in the center of the beacons using seven mythically rare components.

The Old Man gave the heroes the Archmage’s quill, which is fashioned of a Phoenix Feather, the first material component of the Ritual of Divine Severing.

Ezekial brought the heroes to a statue of Savros, which Juhani pulled the vines from to reveal a plaque with a riddle.

The heroes entered a meditative state, connecting with the statue of Savros and revealing a hidden temple in the Astral Plane.

The heroes defeated a Giant Purple Worm, lighting the first beacon of hope.

The heroes debated where to go next, then rested before embarking on a quest toward the Isle of Enlightenment, where they hope to find a Flawless Diamond and light the second beacon of hope – the beacon of Pelor.

Their first obstacle was leaving Alexandria, reaching the ground about 250 feet below.

Thyrus bullied Umop into giving him his Immovable Rod, then jumped over the edge, attempting to use his bare hands to stop himself from a 200-foot freefall.

Umop saved Thyrus from becoming a bloody paste on the ground below using the Staff of Tither Thither, placing one portal below Thyrus and another on the ground in Alexandria’s courtyard.

Thyrus fell through the portal and into the air, then fell through the portal and into the air, vomiting and repeating the vicious cycle until he threw his mace to create horizontal momentum.

Umop retrieved his immovable rod by asking the Old Man to cast fly on him, and the rest of the party went through the portal of Hither Thither to safely get to the bottom.

The heroes were quickly attacked by a Hell Hound, clearly hunting Thyrus.

Once the Hell Hound was dispatched and its meat was saved for later, the heroes headed Southeast toward the Isle of Enlightenment.

About ten minutes in, a steam vent formed and dealt considerable damage to both Thyrus and Juhani.

The heroes continued on. Less than an hour later, they stumbled onto three demons who were torturing a group of pirates, their ship nowhere to be seen.

The heroes slayed the demons, then created a tiny hut and got a long rest.

They awakened the next morning, at the base of a beached ship, the gore of what remains of the pirates strewn is about the black rock underfoot.

The world is sulfuric – sour. The very air stings.

The heroes awoke amidst the gore of pirates ripped to shreds by the demons that defeated by the heroes the day before.

The heroes continued southeast toward the Isle of Enlightenment.

Still learning to tread their way through the Hells, the heroes were surprised by another steam vent opening beneath their feet, two of them taking substantial damage.

The heroes passed the giant rotting corpse of a whale, but noticed nothing peculiar and moved on.

They overcame a mote of lava by flying over it, wary of attacks as they did, but meeting none.

They reached a Devil’s Watchtower, where they defeated three imps and three Horned Devils. They found some substantial loot in the process, including a Soul Coin and a Belt of Dwarvenkind.

The heroes continued marching until they reached a broken Ancient Titan Ship, which was apparently en route to the Isle of Enlightenment to request the Wizards assist the Clerics in overtaking the Monks and reclaiming the Isle of Enlightenment. It never made it to its destination, and the Wizards never allied with the Clerics. This was thousands of years ago, but still intact in the hold the heroes found the ship’s cargo: a magically sealed chest that can only be opened by someone of the Fashoff bloodline.

Inside the magically sealed chest were two pearl Earrings of Selune.

The heroes continued marching but were quickly annoyed by a Hell Hound which was easily dispatched.

They continued on until they heard two women calling for help just beyond the ridge. They rushed to aid, finding two beautiful women ensnared in the web of a Hell Spider.

The heroes defeated the Hell Spider, and Umop accepted the women’s offer of thanks.

Juhani and Thyrus were suspicious and insisted on watching.

The women disrobed Umop and tossed his armor and weapons beyond the rocks, then revealed their true nature as Succubus and attacked.

The heroes defeated the Succubus and harvested them for two vials of Succubus Blood, a component for crafting charm potions.

The heroes continued forward, nearing the halfway point to the Isle of Enlightenment, but ran into another Devil’s Watchtower.

The heroes defeated the Devils and imps and found more loot: 150 gold, including four Greater Healing Potions, a Potion of Invisibility, and a Scroll of Invisibility.

The heroes made camp for the night, passing the time in a Tiny Hut in the nest of the Devil’s Watchtower.

The world went to Hell.

All of you died, and now wear the pallid skin of their fungal rebirth.

Thyrus lost his Warlock powers and is now hunted by Ishmael’s Hell Hounds.

The party lit the First of Five beacons and collected the First of Seven Material Components needed to complete a ritual that will undo the Lich’s evil deed, and hopefully separate the land of Tauren from the Nine Hells.

The party marched across the dried-up seabed halfway to the Isle of Enlightenment, where you hope to light the Second of the Five Beacons: The Beacon of Pelor

The party spent a night in a Devil’s Watchtower and got a long rest.

Ryncore arrived in the morning and brought everyone but Juhani through a God Touched Dimensional Door.

Juhani was too unlawful and too female to step foot on Titan. To her, only a moment has passed since you stepped through the portal.

Everyone else was brought back in time to when the Paladins and Clerics of Pelor first parted ways the Monks of the Isle of Enlightenment, back to the First Age when they founded their own kingdom on the island of Titan.

VOICE: You met Bellow, Paladin of the Third Rank, Knight of Pelor.

The party were sent to the dungeon of a spooky abandoned castle.

The party found the hidden Vampire Crypt beneath the dungeon, learned many tricks for efficiently dealing with Vampires, and wisely retreated.

The Paladins and Clerics of Pelor took care of the rest, and you were rewarded handsomely by the High Priest of Pelor for their efforts.

The party made camp and got a long rest. In the morning, you taught Bellow how agriculture works.

Ryncore returned and brought you back through the God Touched Dimensional Door to the present, reuniting you with Juhani.

The party’re in the Devil’s Watchtower, about halfway to the Isle of Enlightenment, where you hope to Light the Second Beacon.

For a while, the heroes were the happiest people in Hell.

The party found a gold piece on the ground. You absolutely demolished a Hell Hound. You deftly dodged the geysers of steam. You even found a nice snack.

Then, you found an oddly unnatural river of lava.

It took a long while, but you made it across.

Soon afterward, you crossed paths with a Balor, a mighty demon, which you slayed.

The party took a long rest, and have just awakened refreshed.

The party fought their way through a massive horde of pirate zombies, echoes of a past misdeed.

The party climbed to the Peak of Enlightenment, overcoming the trials of Wind, Water, Land, Fire, Love and Light.

The party entered the Temple of the Beacon of Pelor and faced an obstacle for each of the trials you’d mastered during their climb, including defeating five Bone Nagas and seducing a door.

Finally, you fought and defeated the same Adult Red Dragon that ate Umop in their showdown against the Lich.

The party lit the Second Beacon of Five, and the Mountain of Enlightenment is no longer shrouded in hellish steam.

From the Beacon, the souls of the Monks who’d been slain were reborn. They’ll be able to defend this land now, thanks to their intervention.

They gifted you a Flawless Diamond, one of the Seven material components you need to collect. You now have two of the Seven Material Components, and two of the Five Beacons lit.

The party climbed to the Peak of Enlightenment and lit the Second Beacon.

From the Beacon, the trapped souls of the Monks were released, and they were reborn. (Think the end of the original “Mortal Kombat” movie)

The monks will defend this land. The Mountain of Enlightenment is no longer shrouded in a hellish storm.

They gifted you a Flawless Diamond, the second material component you need to collect.

The party got a long rest, and were about to begin their journey west to Titan, when Ryncore showed up with an invitation to celebrate the Squirrel’s Harvest at Nakatomi Tower.

The party had a delightful side quest solving the Wizard Nakatomi’s murder and slaying vampires. You met Nakatomi’s orphaned son, who asked to come adventuring with you under the name of Darkshaft.

Ryncore brought you back and you got a long rest.

The party’ve just exited their tent and are in the Garden of Enlightenment enjoying a breakfast spread courtesy of the gracious monks.

The party look up to the sky, and though the world seems to be cast in eternal night, there’s finally sky to be seen again – at least in this region.

Magical items requiring the rise of the moon have recharged.

The party’re enjoying breakfast, talking about their next goal: lighting the Beacon of Terminus on the Mountain of Titan to the West.

The party left the Isle of Enlightenment and headed west until you met Mythostacales, a demon with the unique ability to consume Soul Coins to retrieve the answer to almost any question.

The party learned everything there is to know about the Lich’s strengths and weaknesses.

The party continued west, crossed a few rivers of lava, uncertain what their crisscrossing flows might mean.

The party continued west until they heard fighting, then joined Bellow and his Paladins into battle against Oathbreakers and a Forsaken Priest in ancient ruins.

The party continued west until they were almost to the fourth and last river of lava (this one headed NNW).

NOTE: The lava pattern went SSW, NE, SE, NNW.

The party defeated the Lava Kraken and his entourage of Oathbreakers

Now, all the heroes must do is cross the river of lava at the edge of their camp and you’ll be at the foot of the Mountain of Titan.

They made camp with Bellow and his men and had a nice little celebration.

The heroes got a long rest.

The next morning, Orryn didn’t leave his tent.

When they checked on him, they found him in a pool of sweat in his bed. A wound from yesterday’s battle is badly infected. He has a high fever.

“BELLOW VOWS AN UNDYING OATH TO PROTECT THE GREAT WIZARD ORRYN.”

The party is free to adventure while Orryn is unwell.

Ryncore arrived and brought everyone but Orryn to Rumblood - exluding the wizard because of the area of wild magic surrounding the city.

The party was brought very far into the past, just after the great cataclysm which caused the area of wild magic.

The party met Yeben, a brave and helpful gnome who explained the situation.

Pirates were invading Rumblood - pirates who where destined to win. The heroes were tasked with ensuring the gnomes did not go extinct.

The heroes fought pirates on the beach for just long enough to allow the gnomes to escape the city.

As the heroes went to escape the city themselves, they nearly perished at the hands of the pirates who were ransacking the city, but fled with their life.

Ryncore arrived to give the heroes a break, although their task was still incomplete. They were brought home to get a long rest before continuing.

Orryn joined the party, now that they were out of Rumblood, and helped march the gnomes South across the open plains.

Instead of settling the gnomes in Falos Glad, where hundred of years in the future they would be ousted by the elves of Falos Glad, the heroes decided to change history.

They settled the gnomes in the lost Temple of Eldath in the distant past, with no clue the ramifications of their actions, but did take the time to clear the dungeon before they left.

The heroes left Bellow in the Temple of Eldath, where he would become Eldath's Champion - the knight you defeated to obtain the Waters of Eldath.

The heroes other contact with the Gnomes is Yeben, the brave gnome they met when they first arrived.

The heroes finally reached the Peak of Titan, where they quickly surrendered and were brought to the castle dungeon.

Having been in this dungeon before, the heroes knew about the secret tunnels beneath it. They broke out of their chains and went under the castle, where they found the entrance to a dungeon inside a coffin they didn't dare open last time they were here.

The heroes defeated the Dungeon of Chaos and lit the third beacon.

The Paladins and Clerics of Titan are now their sworn allies in the fight against the Lich, and they’ll defend this beacon in their absence.

The heroes made a contact in Titan - a forgettable cleric named Michael Lamp.

Finally, they got a long rest within Titan’s castle walls, and talked through their plans to head south to Dwarvenport West.

Headed south from Titan, headed across the dried-up sea-floor to Dwarvenport West.

Ran into The Dude, who was just chillin'. He happened to be at the very spot where, decades later, two armies of the living (Titan & Stezok), would converge to begin their assault against the Lich. The dude sells drugs and purchases souls, but he's real chill about it.

Crossed another river of lava.

Reached the foot of Dwarvenport West - what was once a pirate harbor.

Fought through the docks, where devils were at some sort of impasse against an enemy in the southern half of the city.

Dwarvenport is now cut in half by a river of lava. The north side of the city is inhabited by devils and demons.

Reach the south half of Dwarvenport, immediately captured by Spear and other living people. An actual civilization in the Hells of living souls!

Put to trial by the council of Dwarvenport. The members of the council:

- Spear Mentos

- Powder Monkey

- Whordi

- Bob

- Vanya

It's revealed that the busty elf Vanya is Umop's mother. He was kidnapped by orcs in the middle of the night, and trained by them to be the elite soldier he became.

Win trial, convince Dwarvenport to travel with you to Stezok, where you will retake their ancestral home.

While Thyrus slept, you played poker with Ryncore to celebrate his 250th anniversary of entering service with Mielikki.

Juhani was kidnapped by Spear.

The party chased Spear very far into the past, near the beginning of time in Tauren.

Ryncore was allowed to help because Spear broke an ambiguous rule of the gods.

The party chased Spear to Stezok, a mountain with a very, very deep hole in the center of its peak.

They met an adult gold dragon named Virm Nurn.

The party went down the hole.

First, it went through the Duergar kingdom you saw the Lich destroy.

Then, it went through a rock spire in the middle of the Mind Flayer’s Sea.

Then, it went through what would one day become the land of the Fire Giants.

Then, it went through a rock spire in an unknown layer.

Finally, you reached the center of the world: an endless cylinder where everything floats.

Orryn noticed a strange looking teleportation circle - a teleportation circle that looked more detailed than normal ones.

It seemed like it would take ten minutes instead of the usual one minute to memorize, and they were in a rush to save Juhani, and the center of the world was usually filled with Magma, so he left it be.

The party confronted Spear.

Spear was revealed to be the new Emissary of Asmodeus – the same job as Ryncore but for the king of the Nine Hells.

The one you called Ishmael was revealed to be Asmodeus in disguise.

Spear was punished for breaking the rules.

The party saved Juhani, and earned one full rest in Boblin’s Tavern.

Juhani awakened refreshed, and Ryncore brought you back to Hell.

MAP - You’re in a Tavern in Dwarvenport West.

The Hero’s Feast breakfast that Ryncore summoned at the beginning of last session is still on the table. Only a few moments have passed since you left.

Second breakfast! +10 HP, immune to fright, immune to poison, cure all diseases, WIS saves at advantage.

The party had second breakfast.

The party met the simple armorer

Umop met with his mom, learned his real name, got his dad’s bow, and learned that there were three Los-Tharian hotties looking to propagate the race.

The party met with Bob and Whordi and went over the plan to bomb Stezok.

The party escorted the refugees/bomb halfway to Stezok, where you fought a Terrasque.

Umop’s mom died, but everyone else survived the encounter.

The party made it to Stezok and got the bomb to the front-door, but the doors were closed.

Umop climbed to the top of the peak to tie off ropes for everyone else, and immediately found Virm Nurn, Stezok’s guardian dragon, infected with a Mind Flayer parasite.

The party fought Virm Nirn, the legendary god dragon of the Stezokians, bravely and for some time.

In the end, though, it was one of the Orcs who'd been occupying Stezok who slayed the dragon.

The party slayed any orcs that didn't escape before the bomb went off, sealing the Mind Flayers in the Third Layer of Underdark, and relighting the Forge of Creation.

The Beacon of Moradin is lit. You have only one more beacon to light: the Beacon of Eldath, due east.

With Stezok saved, the heroes awoke to bustling activity in an enormous city landscape. The dwarves seem to have practically rebuilt Stezok overnight.

Orryn went straight to the peak to meet with Bob and Whordi, and pick Whordi's brain while he read a few books. Orryn shared some of his herb, and Whordi now regards Orryn kindly, understanding that even great Wizards must keep some questionable company from time to time.

Thyrus went shopping, and spent most of the day trying to do basic math. He sold many of the party's items, including a giant dinosaur dick, the ancient automoton body and head, some weapons, a cauldron, and a ruby.

But now he has black, red, yellow, and white flame patters on ornate armor. Everyone laughed at him, but he knows he looks great.

Darkshaft tricked and robbed Mudd, the simple inventory manager. The poor fellow was really looking forward to becoming an adventurer alongside one of the best.

Juhani met Nevae, one of three remaining Los Tharian women, the manager of the Forge of Rebirth in Stezok. She provided Nevae the components harvested from the Terrasque, who promised gear in return.

Umop met Thuen, a tall blond Los Tharian woman, and scheduled a date. Then he immediately went looking for and found Harsani, the third remaining Los Tharian, and impregnated her.

When the day was nearly spent, the heroes joined Orryn on the peak and Virm Nurn's Memorial Ceremony began.

Virm Nirn's body was hoisted into the hole and into the fires of the newly re-constructed and re-named Forge of Rebirth, and her components were made to fashion legendary armor which was given to the heroes to aid them in their quest agains the Lich.

The heroes got a long rest, staying one more night in their comfortable Stezokian dwellings.

Umop met Nevae before they left, but didn't show up with much of a plan and scampered off. Nevae went back to her work, wondering what could have been if she had the courage to ask out the last man on Tauren.

The heroes went back to the peak, found their way to the bottom of the eastern summit, and headed due east, marching for days.

Seems like the nature of Hell is that their past evil deeds come back to haunt you. Heading due east should mean easier travel... we never went through the Gulf, so we never did anything evil there. Right?'

They reached a great chasm that went even deeper than sea-level. Chilling on the side of the chasm was their old friend, Dusk, who they got killed. He was understandably upset.

The heroes convinced Dusk to follow them, if not just to take the chance to watch them die gruesome and horrible deaths, and mock their failures.

They went into the chasm and continued descending until they reached the Underdark.

They continued east until, near the entrance to infernal storm about halfway to their destination, they reached an impasse.

A great fungal mass resembling Psilofyr was growing in the Temple of Psilofyr, where the heroes had previously visited.

The players remembered the forgotton artifact, which was lost under the giant dinosaur dick in the Bag of Holding: Psilofyr's Thorn, created from a piece of Psilofyr itself.

The thorn was in the Bag of Holding at the time of Psilofyr's death, and so was unaffected by the Tears of Eldath when they were administered.

Juhani channeled her elvish powers, amplified by her new body which was itself created from a piece of Psilofyr, and connected with the fungal mass, realizing that it was as mindless as an infant.

Juhani took the Thorn of Psilofyr and introduced it to the fungal mass, and the fungal mass began to react...

The fungal mass consumed the Thorn of Psilofyr, and Psilofyr was reborn in the plane of Tauren.

Juhani was thrown back by the psychic shockwave, immediately overcome by the powerful force.

Umop was able to withstand the force, being further back and having communed with a goddess on a regular basis.

Orryn and Darkshaft were safe within the protective bubble of the Tiny Hut, but didn't notice that Thyrus had taken one step too far back. The top of his head was poking out of the dome.

His mind was immediately overcome by the psychic blast. He shit his pants and passed out.

Psilofyr pushed two words into the minds of the adventurers:

REQUIRE... EMISSARY...

Umop ran into the tiny hut and did not handle the smell well.

The smell was so overwhelming within the tiny hut at first, there was some debate as to whether there was even any ventilation.

It was well ventilated. It just smelled that bad.

Umop tried to drag Thyrus out of the Tiny Hut, but it only smeared the fecal matter across the floor, releasing the full potency of its aroma.

Eventually, some attention was given to the ancient god they'd just awoken, and they each asked one question in reply, trying to learn more about what it would mean to become Psilofyr's Emissary.

First, they learned they'd either need to fight the ancient god, or give him the emissary he requests.

Then, they learned he was offering power, but that it would require obeying his will.

The heroes had met two emissaries before: Spear Mentos, the Emissary of Asmodeus; and Ryncore the Reviled, Emissary of Mielikki.

The ancient god was about to eat Juhani, and there was very short debate as to whether her enthusiasm prior to being rendered unconscious was sufficient consent to an eternal soul-bound contract.

Orryn, the infinitely curious, decided he would like to know what it meant to be more than human. He volunteered. Besides, he couldn't bear to kill the ancient god a second time, and it seemed like the rest of his companions were leaning in that direction.

Psilofyr accepted, and Orryn swore a vow to obey Psilofyr forever, with all of himself.

The thralls fell limp, the fungal stalks died, and the giant fungal mass withered away.

On the top of Orryn's head, beneath his wizard cap, a brightly-glowing mushroom sprouted. He and Psilofyr are now one, until Psilofyr is ready to be transplanted into a new permanent body.

They left Psilofyr's Temple and headed east into the infernal storm, but were immediately met by Spear Mentos, who appeared via a God-Touched Dimensional Door.

Spear appeared holding Boblin hostage, ready to make demands.

The party recalled that the last time they saw Spear, she was being burned alive by Asmodeus for breaking the rules.

Since then, it looked like she'd been ripped apart and sewn together. Half her face is skinless.

Orryn the clever immediately demanded an audience with Spear under the terms of his new title as emissary, and Spear was obligated to accept.

Spear offered to cleanse Orryn of his new title, and separate Psilofyr from his body before it was too late and his free will was lost forever.

Orryn tricked Spear by using Psilofyr's power to grow a mushroom on the palm of his hand, and Spear used her incantation to banish the decoy mushroom. In doing so, he convinced Spear to free Boblin.

Thinking Orryn had just helped her kill Psilofyr, thus completing her primary objective, she decided to express Asmodeus' thanks by killing one of the party's enemies.

Another god-touched dimensional door opened, and a second Spear walked through. But this one looked like she did before she was burned alive, ripped apart and sewn back together.

She was dragging a third, even younger Spear through the portal behind her. This Spear appeared exactly as she did the day Juhani left her in Falos Glad.

Unsure how to save the innocent Spear, the party huddled and discussed. While they did, Alpha-Spear escaped.

The party continued to debate, and as they did Beta-Spear began to behead the Innocent Spear.

Umop sent a powerful attack at Beta-Spear, but it was too late. It seemed like all she wanted to do was kill herself and die.

Bewildered by Spear's fuckery, the party continued east a short ways, feeling the heavy burden of the unconscious members they were carrying uphill, through a firestorm, over jagged rocks.

They took a long rest and felt a bit better, and carried on.

They were intercepted by a strange Toll Collector with six Hell Hounds, who demanded 1000 gold for each.

After some haggling, the party gave the Devil 2500 gold and left in peace.

They continued east until they set up camp and took a long rest.

Juhani and Thyrus finally woke up.

Thyrus found a strange yogurt in his bag of holding. It's highly addictive, it tastes terrible, and it's of dubious origin, but Thyrus can't get enough of it.

The heroes stumbled onto a locked chest and were very suspicious. They checked it for traps, attacked it... but when Juhani opened it, it was nothing but a simple chest filled with loot.

The heroes continued east until they were suddenly beset by swarms of rats.

They defeated the Pirate King again, the man they tortued to death using a swarm of rats and a box.

The heroes climbed out of the chasm and continued marching each through the Gulf.

They saw what used to be an island, now a plateau, with no signs of welcome, no story hook, and no reason to go there.

Juhani recognized the island as the home of a wealthy merchant who facilitates trade between Falos Glad and Illud.

That plateau quickly became the most important thing in the world to the heroes, who spent some time and much effort getting to the top.

Met Varrek, a wealthy artificer, and Alexa, his Warforged servant.

Prepped a fast-travel portal.

Got a message from Whordi: Bob is injured and needs help from a Cleric.

Warped to Titan, met Michael Lamp who reminded you that you'd already met, and transported him to Stezok.

Healed Bob, spent a day in Stezok.

While Juhani tried to rob the Stezokian Platinum Vaults, everyone else threw an absolute rager in Orryn's Magnificent Castle.

Juhani was double-crossed, but trapped the other two thieves in the Platinum vault. She artfully talked her way out of trouble when questioned by Harsani.

After some prodding, the heroes cleaned up after their city-wide party in Orryn's Magnificant Castle, since everything left behind (many, many condoms, lost jewelry, etc.) were expelled from the extraplanar space when the spell ended.

The heroes fast-travelled to Varrek's, and went inside.

Varrek made the mistake of offering Thyrus some of his newly patented Yogurt, and Thyrus attacked.

Alexa awoke and threatened that if Varrek died, she would explode and destroy the entire platuea.

The heroes left in peace, having burnt a potentially helpful bridge.

They scaled down the cliff, marched east, and finally made it out of the Gulf.

The heroes entered the Burnt Forest, where they caught Intellect Devourers spying on them.

They tried to kill all the Intellect Devourers, but three got away to warn the Mind Flayers.

Instead of rushing to the temple, the heroes decided to find a perfect battlefield on which to lay a trap for the Mind Flayers.

The plan went horribly awry, but the heroes none-the-less defeated 20 Intellect Devourers, 3 Mind Flayers, and 1 Brainstealer Dragon.

Orryn created a Magnificent Mansion, and everyone got a long rest.

The heroes head east through the forest, quickly arriving at Eldath's temple.

They were reuinited with Yeben, the brave gnome they met in Rumblood.

They followed Yeben to the temple. On the way, they saw the statue of Eldath at the foot of the stairs - the same statue that inspired Umop to become a follower of Eldath.

Only Juhani noticed that the statue was missing its left pinky, and only Juhani could remember why that pinky was missing.

While everyone else reminisced, Juhani mentioned that she thought Umop was a following of Shar. Umop couldn't remember why Juhani might think that, but they left it at that.

Everyone continued up the steps, but Juhani had to convince Psilofyr to go so near the same fungicide that killed him, while in the company of those who used it against him. Being able to read Juhani's thoughts, he knew there was no plot to kill him, though. He gave in.

The heroes quickly made their way to the inner sanctum of the temple, where they were reunited with Bellow.

The heroes had seen Spear violate the Grandfather Paradox, so Umop made mention there was a lot of uncertainty as to whether Bellow would remember them as his murderers or his friends.

Luckily, Bellow welcomed them with open arms as friends, and was still in possession of the Waters of Eldath.

Umop asked Eldath for guidance on how to find the beacon, and she advised him to look around. He promptly spotted a puzzle.

The heroes began talking through how to solve it, quickly realizing it related to words they were saying, but never figured out the words.

'The pillar' - and so the pillar moved. 'Pillar. Pillar pillar pillar pillar pillar' - and the pillar did not move. 'But I said pillar' - and two pillars moved.

The heroes never solved the riddle, but luckily the puzzle seemed to unlock itself as they happened to say each key word an odd number of times all at once.

The heroes found a book that detailed Eldath and her followers' beliefs.

The heroes strategically withdrew from the room of worldly horrors, back the way they came only to found that it had become the way forward.

Umop heroically dove into a wirlpool and clicked the button at the bottom, bringing calm to Eldath's waters.

Darkshaft [but really Umop] healed a wounded bird.

Orryn solved a Sphinx's riddle.

Spear Mentos cornered the heroes, displaying her new form as emissary of both Asmodeus and Umberlee. She delivered a message from Umberlee, which asked the heroes for help in releasing water back into the world. She said to go to her temple, in the Underdark.

The heroes lit the final beacon.

Orryn received a message from Whordi, so the heroes teleported to Stezok.

Whordi gifted Orryn a new Arcane Focus and material component pouch, the Legendary Items: Orryn's Pipe and Snuffbox.

The wood is carved from the roods of Falos Glad's great tree. The self-lighting starter has Flint from the rock gnome ancestral village near the Halfling Hillsides, and steel forged in Stezok's Forge of Rebirth. After creation, the pipe was shipped to Alexandria where it was inscribed by the Archmage Banksy himself. +2 to spell attacks, can be wielded with no hands.

Whordi and Bob, however, were a bit preoccupied: they were escorting an orc who wanted to pay homage to Virm Nurn. He came peacefully and asked politely, using whole sentences and everything.

The orc was revealed to be the Messaiorc, Finder Mork, thought to be a dead legend by his people, who have been beguiled by King Hurt.

Finder Mork didn't say much, but he did say he was looking to put together an army to fight orcs.

The heroes were offered a chance to kill orcs, and showed immediate enthusiasm.

Umop helped Mork the Orc give a speech, and 30 Stezokians joined Mork's cause.

The heroes had the idea to put the Stzokians in disguises, to avoid long-term political backlash.

Juhani and Orryn suggested a Trojan Horse strategy, to which Mork because furious. As the emissary of Tempus, he will take no devious or dishonorable strategy.

When Mork because visibly upset, Thyrus tried to bear-hug him to calm him down, but Mork picked Thyrus up and threw him at Juhani.

Umop was able to cast command and calm Mork long enough. Mork went to bed angry.

The next morning, the heroes joined Mork in his quest and agreed to fight honorably, and Mork forgave them.

They set out on the war path and began their campaign against the thousands of orcs in Impasse, convincing any they could to join their cause.

After making a necklace of ears and sticking a few heads on pikes, Juhani realized she had quite the talent, and was able to convince every orc she passed to join their cause.

After five days of campaigning, the heroes amassed an army totalling over 2,000 orcs, and marched them to King Hurt.

Unfortunately, King Hurt immediately relinquished the throne and refused to fight Mork.

The heroes convinced a random orc it was his time to be king, and kicked off the fight. Hurt's powerful innermost guard defended him, and a difficult battle ensued.

The battle became more difficult when Thyrus drew an unlucky card from the Deck of Many Things, summoning Spear Mentos to the fight.

Umop was able to fell King Hurt, causing Mork to fail his mission and sending him into a frenzy...

To bide time, Umop cast Command on Mork, commanding him to grovel and explaining Mork would become Umop's regent.

Umop, noticing the Mace and Crown that fell from King Hurt's body, failed to find the Wisdom not to answer the beckoning call of the legendary items.

He donned the Helm and equipped the Mace of Bane, God of Tyranny, and by doing so entered contractual agreement as the god's Emissary.

Juhani, seeing Umop come under the spell and having some understanding of the relationship between Emissary and God, sprinted into action.

She cast a minor healing spell on King Hurt, reviving him as it had only been one round.

She then tackled Umop to the ground, causing the Mace and Crown to once again fall unclaimed.

King Hurt grabbed the legendary items.

Spear continued her attacks, clearly a formidable foe for the entire group on her own.

Juhani demanded an audience with the Emissary of Umberlee.

King Hurt demanded an audience with the Emissaries of Umberlee, Asmodeus, Psilofyr, and Tempus.

Bane, seeing that King Hurt was unworthy, reached out to Thyrus, offering to make King Hurt vulnerable for a moment for him to strike.

Thyrus jumped into action and cut the king down, and - like Umop - failed to find the will to resist the call of Bane.

Thyrus donned his new crown as King of Orcs and equipped the Mace of Bane. He is now the Emissary of Bane, God of Tyranny.

There was a blinding flash of white light, and the entire party, Spear Mentos, and Mork the Messaiorc were teleported to the Courtroom of the Gods on the Plane of Tyr, God of Justice, a place where everything appeared in more vivid detail, more real than real.

All heroes won their trial except Juhani, who was sentenced to rehabilitation in Super Hell alongside Mork and Spear.

Thyrus, Orryn, and Umop chose to stick by their friend and accompany her to Super Hell.

A portal opened and Thyrus was the first to jump through, quickly followed by Umop, then Mork.

Orryn cast invisibility on himself, and Juhani attacked Spear to cause a distraction.

Spear escaped into the portal while Orryn created a portal with the Staff of Hither Tither on the side of a rock in the middle of the nearby open field of grass.

Juhani entered the portal behind Spear, Orryn dove through, and the portal to the Super Hells snapped shut behind them.

The Portal to Super Hell opened to an extremely inhospitable environment.

The portal was 60 feet above a pirate ship full of undead Pirates being attacked by a Giant Sea Serpent in the middle of a hurricane of ice.

The heroes were face to face with the behemoth of a monster as they spawned, but it didn't deter Orryn for a second. He calculated his trajectory and placed the Staff of Hither Tither in just the right spot to spend not a single turn in Super Hell.

Everyone but Mork the Messaiorc and the Giant Sea Serpent followed Orryn through the portal, emerging onto the plush grass 100 feet from the courthouse.

Orryn spent ten minutes instead of the usual one minute memorizing the Teleportation Circle outside the Courthouse, quickly realizing it was linked to an entirely different set of Teleportation Circles and could not offer a way home. At least, not one he was capable of activating.

Orryn created a tiny hut and the heroes got a long rest while Spear paced outside, muttering to herself.

The following morning, Thyrus woke up without hunger, which was very strange. Noteworthy, even. He ate a serving of Yogurt anyway.

With the Tiny Hut about to dissapear, the best idea the heroes had come up with was to walk over to the bailiffs and tell them they'd returned from Super Hell rehabilitated, time served.

With any luck, the bailiffs would send them back to regular Hell, where they could finish the job of un-Helling it.

In the middle of the night, Thyrus got up to pee. It was then that Spear shot him with a dart and put him into a slumber before shoving him back into the tiny hut.

In the morning, when Thyrus did not wake, Spear demanded the heroes help her return to the Hells in exchange for the cure for Thyrus.

Thyrus was shoved into the bag of holding, which is now full. He needs to be let out once per day in order to replenish his oxygen supply.

The party agreed to help Spear get back to Hell in exchange for the cure for Thyrus

Thanks to Juhani's ability to deceive and change shape to look like Mork the Orc, the heroes were able to convince the bailiffs that they'd served their full sentence and that when they were discharged from Super Hell, the resulting energy surge temporarily disabled their systems.

Just as the bailiffs were about to open the portal home, Mork the Messaiorc emerged from Super Hell triumphant and fully rehabilitated. His left arm is now a harpoon and he is blind in his left eye. He has legendary armor and weapons obtained by defeating hordes of monsters in Super Hell.

Mork explained that he served everyone's sentence by himself - including Juhani and Spear.

The scales of justice balanced, the party was sent back to the Hells, but Spear was missing when they arrived, and there was no sign of the battle from the day before.

Mork headed west with the Crown of Impasse to fulfill his destiny.

Juhani noticed that Mork dropped something as he came out of the portal: a book. She gave it to Orryn.

The book is bound in Terrasque hide, paged in flesh, written in blood, and stitched with intestines. It's titled 'Monster Manual', and there are checkmarks next to most of the entries.

The party headed north to Stezok, but at the gate were brought up to speed by Harsani.

20 years had passed since the intervention of Tyr.

A surge of malnutrition hit Stezok hard. Varrek's yogurt was the only thing that saved life in Stezok, including Harsani's unborn child.

With the money from the monopoly, Varrek bought Stezok.

In response to the growing threat of Terrasques streaming from Mamgoz Sodel to the northwest, Varrek directed all industry to begin producing Warforged.

(It may be noted that the players have not yet considered that they know the power source of Warforged, and the plentiful supply of it they unleashed in Stezok)

Harsani was never interested in motherhood.

It was normal in Los Thar for warrior women to send their children back to the village to be raised by others, so it was not strange to her when Varrek offered to raise Dath, with the intention of mentoring him as his successor.

With Alexa as his mother and Varrek as his father, Dath grew to become a shrewd, intelligent, thoughtful, cunning, curious, and powerful young man.

But it's been years since anyone's seen Varrek, and Dath's visits are always brief.

Ten years ago, Dath issued a law aboloshing the death penalty. Instead of capital punishment, Stezok would only banish the guilty.

(The heroes remembered the particular of our legal system from their first visit.)

What was strange was that the hero's names were on the list of people prohibited from the city.

The heroes were turned away, and they left peacefully. They got a long rest.

The next morning, Juhani disguised herself as Varrek, gave a great performance to the guards at the gate, and gained entrance to Stezok.

The heroes walked through Stezok, ignoring many gawking residents who seemed to have never seen Varrek before in person.

They made it to the summit, then used the teleportation sigil to teleport to Varrek's.

They demanded to speak to Varrek, and complied when brought to the prison where he was being kept.

Their items were taken and they were thrown into the prison, where they learned that Varrek is actually a prisoner in his own home, held by Umop's son, Dath, his protege.

Dath was very interested in the details of your time travelling antics. He said he wanted to attack the Lich. He asked for details about your plan and got most of them.

The heroes awoke in Varrek's dungeon - a modest, unimaginative room with two locked cells and access to food, water, and toiletries. Better rest than they usually get.

Alexa informed them Dath wanted to speak with them in the dining hall.

They followed Alexa, learning along the way that she was capable of seeing everything that any other warforged saw. She may even be controlling them.

Umop secretly cast Detect Poison.

Everyone toasted to the last bottle of wine in Tauren. Unfortunately, Umop's spell didn't detect 'Elixer of Truth', which is technically a potion, not a poison. The cheaper 'Truth Serum' would have been detected, but Dath spared no expense.

Dath offered the missing spell components for the Ritual of Divine Severing, his army, and Stezok. In exchange, he asked for the Staff of Hither Tither, its portals unchanged.

The heroes countered, and Dath countered their counter.

In the end, it was agreed that Dath would supply 3/4 of his army, Stezok, Varrek, and an agreement of non-interference until the invasion of the Lich was complete. In exchange, he received the Staff of Hither Tither, its portals unchanged (two charges).

Dath said he would march 3/4 of his army north in three days, opening a southern front against the Lich's army.

Orryn made some calls:

- Mork the Messaiorc had already gathered half the orcs under his banner, and was marching east (from gods know where) to New Stezok, to reunify the orcs under his rule. He was interested in a fight, but not until the reunification was complete.

- Michael Lamp, the forgettable cleric in Titan, said that Titan would march south immediately, and would meet Stezok at the halfway point.

- The Monks in the Isle of Enlightenment were willing to help, but were few in numbers and had no way to get past the Mind Flayers between them and the Lich.

(Banksy in Alexandria was never contacted. Perhaps in part because he is a possible suspect as the Lich's identity.)

The heroes headed to Varrek's Teleporation Circle and teleported to Stezok, where they found Whordi praying at Virm Nirn's roost.

Whordi and Orryn shared a smoke and got each other up to speed, while the others discussed. Below, Dath's army of Warforged were marching from the city, heading east to where they would begin their invasion.

After fifteen years of non-stop manufacturering of warforged, Stezok was free.

The heroes interrogated Varrek and put him in Whordi's charge. They were told to make him comfortable and safe, but that he should remain confined.

They learned that the Warforged were given the spark of life by siphoning energy from the Beacon of Hope they'd lit at Stezok's Great Forge.

Decicions were made. The orcs were to be abandoned, and Stezok would march north in the morning, after a long rest.

The heroes threw a party of legendary proportions in Stezok's city square. The world was to be saved starting tomorrow.

The entire city danced along the great spiral stairs leading from the underdark, and their joy echoed for miles.

Unfortunately, with the Warforged gone, the primary purpose of their creation was left unchecked - Terrasques overwhelmed the city guard at the west gate and invaded the city.

The heroes emerged from the party half-rested in the middle of the night to the screams Stezokian katzenjammer.

Whordi advised they evacuate the city as quicly as possible.

It was agreed they would march north without the orcs. Clearly, there would be no turning back.

METAGAME: It was revealed that at some point throughout their adventures, the heroes had met the one who would become the Lich.

Awoke to Terrasques invading Stezok.

Bob led as many of the villagers to safety as possible immediately.

The heroes kept the Terrsaques distracted while the Stezokians fled the city.

Umop, Darkshaft, and Powder Monkey were nearly killed while Juhani ate a sandwich with Mud in the safety of Orryn's Magnificent Castle.

Orryn slapped a Terrasque in the face (shocking grasp - no reaction, therefore no opportunity attack), then vaulted off a roof.

Terrasques, having also spilled into Stezok from above, began approaching from the ceiling.

Seeing the forecasted Terrasque down-pour, and since most of the city had successfully evacuated, the heroes took their last look at Stezok before abandoning it to the Terrasques.

The heroes led their army of Stezokians north for one day to the Fork Junction, where they defeated the straggler Terrasques.

They continued north for one more day until they reached the southern entrance of Dwarvenport West.

The heroes made camp a couple hundred yards short of the entrance.

As the heroes began their rest, hundreds of miles northeast, twice the distance to the Lich, the demon Mythostacales awakes from a deep meditation with new knowledge of the Lich.

The heroes awoke at the midpoint on their journey from Stezok to their meet-up with the army of Titan: Dwarvenport West.

The last time they were there, they abandoned it to the demons and brought all living inhabitants to Stezok.

Now, those same survivors are much more well equipped and much more accustomed to fighting the hellish demons.

Led the Stezokian army in a raid to clear Dwarvenport of demons.

Continued north and met up with the army of Titan.

Whordi, brokenhearted about the second fall of Stezok, asked Orryn to smoke a special herb he’d been saving since he was a child. They were both incapacitated for a day.

Marched east with the army of Titan and Stezok.

Saw the lava rivers for what they were: a giant pentagram.

Made it through the barren planes of the Lich’s territory, losing just under half your army along the way. It would have been worse, except the enemy was busy with the Warforged marching from the south.

Reached the moat to the Lich’s castle, a pentagonal bowl of lava.

The spires of the Lich’s onyx crystal castle are circled by Dragons – flying across the lava moat would invite an attack.

The heroes army surrounded them. Everyone got a long rest in shifts.

The heroes awoke well rested.

Orryn, the special leaf you smoked with Whordi unlocked your Wizard’s sight. All people have a third eye, which when opened allows them to see beyond the veil of magic to the truth of things. Most people are unable to open this mystic eye, but the herb you smoked with Whordi pried it open.

Orryn now has one Portent die (roll 1d20 each morning, you can replace any roll at the table with the roll of that 1d20).

Orryn hasn't learned to shut his third eye yet.

While his Wizard’s Sight is active, he has Darkvision and magic cannot confuse his sense of sight (a Hag will appear as a Hag, a Dragon in the form of a human will be obvious to you, magical invisibility does not inhibit your sight, etc.). However, you must succeed a WISDOM saving throw when you witness something truly horrendous, or receive damage and/or be stunned, depending on how horrifying the thing you see is.

Orryn emerged from the sack of Yogurt while the others were having breakfast.

After much deliberation, the heroes decided to use Orryn's folding boat to cross the mile of lava between them and the Lich's onyx castle.

They reached the entrance, where the sharp onyx that comprises the entire castle challenged each of them in a different way.

The doors to the castle would only open if the name of the temple's god was spoken. It took some time to figure out, but with the clues of the pengtagram, the number five, and draconic, Juhani figured out that it was Tiamat.

First, they entered a large open circular room, with carvings in the wall depicting the gods at war, culminating in the image of Tiamat emerging from a large explosion. In the center of the room, they found a pedastal with a plaque that named the work 'The Cataclysm of Rumblood', by Banksy.

A rope ladder descended, and the heroes used it to climb into the Black room of acid, where they avoided the traps thanks to Juhani.

They went through a portal and emerged on a platform floating in a lake of acid, with other platforms scattered throughout.

The heroes defeated a brood of Ankheg and another rope ladder descended from above.

The opening in the ceiling revealed the next room to be well lit by a blue glow.

Thyrus led the way into the Blue Room, a room of electricity with six switches and five light bulbs.

First, the heroes overloaded the bulbs and caused a lightning explosion.

Then, Thyrus randomly selected the correct sequence of switches and the way forward opened.

Defeated the undead wizard Trozcustocioltorlath Balthornshade, who used his 100x5’ hallway to his advantage.

Juhani, after seeing the next room glowed Green and reasoning that it meant there was poison ahead, led the way.

Juhani went to jump into the pool of poison, to make her way across using her immunity, but in a 1/10 chance randomly jumped on the invisible path across. She felt her way across and left a trail of ball bearings.

Orryn and Umop entered the room, and Orryn could immediately see the invisible path across.

While everyone else crossed, Juhani solved the first riddle: a door with an inscription: “speak friend, I will appear” by saying the word “Friend”.

Everyone reached the other side of the pool of poison as a ghost materialized from the door. The ghost presented a second riddle.

It took some time, but everyone figured out the riddle (touching one’s nose before pointing) and earned their way forward (Umop, Orryn, Thyrus, then much later… Juhani).

The next room was filled with steam, so Umop blew it away so everyone could see.

It was a small lake of lava with floating rocks.

The heroes jumped in, and a Fire Giant arose from the lava. He destroyed the floating rocks as he attacked, sending everyone scrambling – except for Orryn, who actually fell into the lava.

Thyrus used his whip to pull Orryn from the lava, and many water-flavored Fireballs, backstabs, and arrows later, the Fire Giant was defeated.

Another rope ladder descended, leading to a brightly lit room encased in a thick ice.

Thyrus ascended first and threw yogurt across the room, revealing hidden traps that spray water.

The heroes worked together, using a variety of skills from ice-boarding to yogurt throwing, from climbing a rope straight up to an all-out assault on an innocent wall, to escape the White room of Ice.

In the end, it was again Thyrus who led the way out.

They were teleported back to the entrance of the temple, a round room with walls carved to depict the gods at war, culminating in Tiamat emerging from an explosion.

Spear Mentos emerged from the shadows and called for an Audience with the emissaries of Psilofyr (Juhani), Bane (Thyrus), and Tiamat (the Lich).

The Lich surprised everyone by thanking them, and offering to explain.

He talks slowly, so instead he offered a piece of moldy bread that had been magically enchanted.

Everyone but Darkshaft broke bread with the Lich, then went on a quick hallucinogenic journey to the creation of Tauren.

Learned that Tauren isn’t just shaped like a scroll, it is a scroll.

You are in a simulation.

A wizard named Aiaren Taurenparma (an elvish name meaning “Little King, Master of Books and Writing”) who lives in the Prime Material Plane (the real world) created a legendary scroll, and that legendary scroll is the land of Tauren.

The Lich summoned Aiaren.

Learned that it was an unexpected surprise that the scroll of Tauren produced souls, making it a coveted magical item that Aiaren now lives to protect.

Meanwhile, many gods actually entered the scroll and waged war.

The scroll almost exploded, but something suddenly stopped it.

Thousands of years ago, in the place you know as Rumblood, the Lich used a ritual to unleash the power of Tiamat, and a peace treaty was quickly signed.

Tiamat used the opportunity to ensure permanent access to Tauren by building a bridge between her domain (Super Hell), and Tauren.

That bridge is the Tenth Hell of Balor, which exists only within the Aiaren’s scroll. The Tenth Hell and Tauren are like dual-boot operating systems for the multiverse, which share most of their resources (like geography and character states).

To ensure the Tenth Hell of Balor is a permanent affixture, Tiamat chose a someone born in the Tenth Hell as her emissary: Dath, son of Umop.

Shortly after the players traded the Staff of Hither Tither (1 charge remaining, a portal to Super Hell), Dath used it, met Tiamat, and became her emissary.

Dath was sent to the distant past, where he unleashed Tiamat’s power, and absorbed power from the very gods, ascending to Lichdom.

Knowing he needed to create the Tenth Hell, he tried again and again for millennia.

Now that it’s done, the only thing left to do is square-up the fine print in the treaty that was signed all those years ago:

All gods were barred from entering Tauren, but were awarded one emissary to represent them. As a reward, one emissary per god is permitted to exit Tauren and emerge in the Prime Material Plane.

Learned that the Ritual of Divine Severing would return all living non-emissary inhabitants of the Tenth Hell to the beginning of civilization in Tauren (long after the Dawn of Dragons, long before The Cataclysm of Rumblood) to found the world of Tauren.

The heroes had all the spell components but one: a willing sacrifice.

Feeling very hopeful about the prospect of an afterlife, Darkshaft offered his life.

Desperate to finally be rid of Spear Mentos, Juhani also offered her life.

But then the old woman the heroes saved in Illud, who at the time only had a potato to give, and who would have died the following morning of a brain aneurysm if the heroes had taken a long rest in Tiamat’s temple, came forth and offered herself.

Still desperate to finally be rid of Spear Mentos, Juhani stabbed herself in the chest.

Aiaren pushed Spear Mentos through the red portal (a rash decision sure to spark trouble with the gods), sending her to the Prime Material plane.

To be fair, he was aiming for the blue portal.

Aiaren healed Juhani.

The heroes stand before two portals: one blue, one red.

The blue portal leads back to Tauren.

The red portal leads to the Prime Material Plane (and Spear Mentos).

Suddenly, a green portal opens and Ryncore jumps through.

'Fuck, am I late?'

Ryncore arrived and made his choice: He went through the blue portal.

Thyrus announced he too was tired, and planned to go through the blue portal to retire on a farm.

Umop went through the red portal backwards, with both middle fingers in the air.

Orryn said a long goodbye to Thyrus, his deep feelings vis-a-vis an unplumbed lexicon, words commensurate with the arduousness of their companionship.

Thyrus didn’t understand a word of it, but he got the message.

“Goodbye.”

Orryn stepped through the red portal.

Juhani patted Thyrus on the shoulder, said he was a fine lover, and wished him well. She also robbed him of his bag of holding.

Juhani went through the red portal.

Thyrus received Aiaren’s Mirror, which shows the adventures of the other heroes as if it was a hand-held television.

Thyrus went to the blue portal and retired on a farm.

Umop arrived first. He was still walking backwards, but his hands were now tied behind his back.

He was walking the plank on a pirate ship in the middle of a raging storm on an unfamiliar world.

Prodding him forward was a Half-Orc Fighter, a fellow pirate named Feng Shui. (Tim)

Juhani arrived second.

She was also a pirate on the ship.

She immediately recognized her friends, but not the crew-mate next to her: a druid named Sonora Brutta an Earth Genosi, in a world of water. (Mike D)

Juhani rushed to help Umop, and tried to push Feng overboard.

Umop immediately noticed something strange:

Like when the background sound of electricity suddenly stops humming.

Juhani didn’t have boobs.

She still moved like Juhani.

And just like Juhani would have, she bounced off Feng when she tried to push him overboard.

Orryn arrived third, but his connection to magic had changed drastically.

He could no longer feel the Weave.

His Wizard’s Sight is now Celestial Sense, and comes from his Feng Chi instead of his forehead. It allows him to detect good and evil, and may allow other benefits. (Feng Chi is the chi point located at the back of the skull. It doesn't alter Orryn's sight, it gives him headaches or increases his blood flow.)

Orryn ran to the crew-mate that was steering the ship through the raging storm, and convinced him to let Orryn steer.

Everyone’s magically equipped items started going haywire, and the heroes began slapping themselves in the face, being choked by their own capes, changing colors and flopping around.

Umop dove between Feng’s legs and got back onto the boat.

Juhani again tried and failed to shove Feng overboard.

Feng, undoubtedly stronger than Juhani, put all his weight into one decisive attack.

Juhani redirected his weight and sent him sprawling into the side of the ship, and into the ocean.

Sonora Brutta, seeing the anarchy, continued trying to save the ship, muttering under his breath about how normal this job looked in the flier.

Orryn, at the helm of the ship, was certain the wheel needed to be turned very hard in some direction… one way or the other…

He guessed wrong.

The next thing anyone remembers is waking up on a beach with a little blue creature robbing Orryn.

Umop sent an arrow through its chest, but it got away with Whordi’s Friendship and headed northeast up the beach.

Orryn sprinted after it, as soon as he could muster the strength.

Not far away, its tracks led to an empty cave.

Umop found the hidden switch and opened the secret door.

The heroes witnessed five of the small blue creatures being visited by a demigod which looked exactly like them.

It took a portion of their loot stash, including Wordi’s Friendship.

Orryn immediately declared his ownership of the stolen property, loudly and righteously.

The demigod immediately fled through a portal, though Umop was able to send an arrow through before it snapped closed, dealing damage to a demigod.

The blue creatures attacked, and summoned a swarm of rats to help them.

Although the heroes were unfamiliar with the new bodies and powers, they were able to defeat the swarm.

The heroes secured the cave.

The righteous fighter Feng and cleric Orryn provided last rights for the slain enemies.

Orryn failed to attune to his Ring of Free Action.

Umop succeed in attuning with his Bracers of Archery.

Everyone redistributed gear and split the loot evenly (+100 gold each).

The heroes took a long rest (and reached LV2).

The heroes awoke in a cave and got reintroduced to one another.

They exited the cave, then headed north along the beach and snuck past a big group of giant crabs.

They ate crab meat for lunch and continued north, to the northeast edge of the island.

They saw a creepy, pale-skinned man docking an ancient, opulent boat.

The man offered to bring Sorona to a party on the small isle just northeast.

Umop decided to err on the side of cautious action, and shot the stranger with an arrow.

The heroes quickly killed and robbed the man, but took note of the city he said was on the other side of the woods.

They crossed through the woods into a city-wide celebration.

They learned that it was Xerlli day, a celebration of the earth element, and all worldly pleasures.

Feng rushed to check out the street-side mortal combat, but didn’t accept the victor’s challenge.

Orryn met MEWAL and the Paladins. He made a particularly good impression on JACK and JOHN by offering them food.

He learned that the Clerics and Paladins come from Titan, and worship AKADI, goddess of the winds.

Umop enjoyed the party. He enjoyed good wine. He decided not to take part in any schemes or problems that came his way.

Sorona quickly made her way to the nearest prostitute, who she took to the nearest motel with an hourly rate. She learned that if she’s looking for work, it would depend on what she’s good at. She learned of the existence of the Thieves Guild, the Merchants Guild, the Adventurer’s Guild, and the Pimp King.

Feng participated in the main event - a public orgy with a Minotaur, an Earth Elemental, and a Wizard’s Mage Hand.

Juhani met a goblin named RIZGOLD who runs a Bed and Breakfast and Brewery, and had a flashback to her past as monk training in the ways of making beer. She shared the recipe for beer with Rizgold, and his B&B&B now carries Sixtus Draft. She received a discount on rooms.

Feng met Madame Emadam, a Fortune Teller who was closing shop for the evening. She promised to give him a reading in the morning, if he stopped by.

After a wonderful night of not noticing anything out of the ordinary, other than the public orgy, the heroes headed to RIZGOLD’S BED AND BREAKFAST AND BREWERY to avail him of the cheap, comfortable rooms.

Just after you laid down to sleep, one of the other patrons of the B&B&B, a stiff Air Elemental that didn’t take kindly to Juhani showing him his penis, exited the B&B&B.

He was trying to peak into a window when two men rounded the corner and attacked.

He threw the big one into the motel room he was snooping, and the room exploded.

He and the other man ran away, leaving the body of a Goliath and a smoldering crater where there used to be a motel room.

Juhani, Orryn, and Sorona investigated the explosion from across the street, while Feng and Umop rolled over in their beds and pulled the covers over their heads.

They found Mewal arguing with the leader of a Pimp Gang, who seemed to be in charge.

Mewal explained that she didn't trust the local Pimp Gang to perform a proper investigation of the murder, which seemed to involve the Air Diplomat, who hasn't been seen since.

Mewal asked the heroes to see if they could learn anything, perhaps by questioning people nearby.

Juhani used his hat of disguise, quickly putting everyone on edge due to recent murmurs of Changeling activity (who are believed to be extict).

Juhani fled into the tent of Madame Emadam, who saw the opportunity to make some coin while helping a fellow Fire Folk. She cast Dimension Door to sneak Juhani away.

Meanwhile, Sorona broke into the murder scene and discovered that the murder weapon was Fireball, and the killer used Dimension Door to escape.

Umop peed at a one of the Pimp's Gang.

Sorona smoothed things over with the gang, but the party is on thin ice with local leadership.

The heroes visited Madame Emadam together and received a Tarot reading.

She explained that everything said within her tent was protected by a Curse of Confidentiality, but hinted that she provided scrying services to someone a couple weeks ago.

Orryn paid Madame Emadam to scry for Whordi's Friendship, which was revealed to be on Varrek's Island.

The heroes left Madame Emadam wondering if they should even bother with trifle local murders, or if they should go to Varrek's to pursue Whordi's Friendship.

Sorona went to question Quak, the Aarakokra merchant, but forgot what she was doing.

Juhani questioned Strawberry, the goblin prostitute that Sorona hired the previous night, and Strawberry said that for anything like that, Juhani would need to speak with her Pimp, Tommy.

Instead, Juhani scared Strawberry, and Strawberry called Tommy over, and Tommy shoo'd Juhani away.

The heroes met up for lunch at Duraina's, where they noticed footprints leading into the walk-in freezer.

Duraina said it wasn't her job to guard the entrance, just be quiet about it. She did suggest, though, that the heroes not go into the freezer if they didn't know what they were getting into.

Juhani ran into the freezer and shoved fish down her pants.

Umop followed Juhani into the freezer and opened the trapdoor.

Umop led the way through the trapdoor in the floor of Duraina's Diner's walk-in freezer.

Orryn noticed that Feng slipped out the front door of the Diner while no one was looking, finished a few bites of Lobster, and went to follow.

Umop, Juhani, and Sonara descended through the trapdoor into the sewers, where they vomited and were poisoned.

They saw strange symbols on the wall and Juhani recognized it as Thieve's Cant, but it was jibberish to her. (It read: 'Guild Territory: Bring Fish, Mind the Trap')

Umop triggered a floor trap, but backflipped out of the way of darts that shot from the symbols on the wall.

Four alligators surfaced from the sewage and attacked. They were immediately drawn to the fish that Juhani shoved down his pants, as if they were trained to be fed out of the basket of fish at the entrance.

Umop shot the alligator, heavily wounding it.

Sonara transformed into an alligator and tried to persuade the others to stop attacking, successfully stopping one of them. She realized that they were being drawn to the fish in Juhani's pants.

Sonara used her razor-sharp alligator teeth to remove the fish from Juhani's pants, and was less dextrous than she had hoped. She threw Juhani's manhood and the fish to the other side of the sewer, and the alligators followed.

Orryn, hearing Juhani's scream, gives up on following Feng and rushed to the trapdoor to help. He grabbed a cast-iron frying pan and a meat tenderizer on his way.

Orryn arrived just in time to see the fish and Orryn's member slap against the wall closest to him. He smacked the alligator tagged with Umop's arrow, killing it.

Juhani passed out in the jaws of an alligator.

Umop shot the alligator eating Juhani, heavily wounding it, and healed Juhani.

Sonara and Juhani rushed to the door that led deeper into the sewers, which Juhani unlocked to reveal a guard awoken by the ruckous.

Sonara tried to kill the guard, but her miscast spell wasn't able to penetrate his armor. He responded in kind.

Orryn tried to stop the alligators from attacking his friends, but quickly found himself in one of their jaws.

Sonara convinced two of the three remaining alligators to attack the guard. The third continued trying to eat Orryn, who almost met his ultimate end.

The guard downed Sonara, and Umop healed Orryn and shot the alligator.

The guard closed and re-locked the door, and retreated, leaving the heroes with the remaining alligators.

Three of the four heroes were on the brink of death throughout the fight, but they prevailed. Orryn cut strips of meat from an alligator, and everyone quickly retreated back to the diner.

Covered in shit and blood, the heroes emerged into the Diner's kitchen, where Orryn began cooking the alligator.

They paid Duraina for damages, and sat a table with their food to recap what the hell just happened.

The members of the Thieves Guild, including the guard the heroes tried to murder, emerged from the trapdoor and confronted them.

The heroes apologized and paid for damages, and revealed that they just wanted to ask some questions about the murder the night prior.

The heroes were asked to never return, but were given a clue: a drawstring pouch with 20 gold inside. Upon inspection, Sonara found a speck of Bat Guano on one of the coins. (She's sure it was bat guano - she licked it)

They decided to return to the inn and give up on their quest to find the murderer. Instead, they bartered with one of the Warforged to gain passage to Varrek's Island, where they hope to find Orryn's stolen pipe, Whordi's Friendship.

They returned to Rizgold's Inn and collapsed into their beds.

A few minutes later, Feng enters the room, looking none-the-worse than when he left.

Feng rejoined the rest of the heroes and everyone got a long rest in Rizgold's Tavern.

In the morning, Juhani made the bold fashion choice of wearing the same pants torn at the crotch, and displayed her new penis, now lined with gold where it was torn.

Everyone ate Rizgold's mystery meat for breakfast, gaining a boon for the rest of the day.

They exited the tavern and found a Warforged waiting on the doorstep to take them to the ship. At the same time, they saw that Madame Emadam was being taken into custody under suspicious of murder and terrorism.

Orryn sensed injustice taking place and took action. The heroes followed his lead, and they killed the Pimp King's men, freeing Madame Emadam.

Led by their Warforged escort and with Madame Emadam joining them, they fled the city of Femmerouge and entered the Forest South.

Umop spotted Drop Bears in the trees, ready to make their surprise attack.

Sonora cast Pass Without a Trace, intendinge to lead the heroes past the encounter without a fight, but Orryn sprinted into the middle of the enemies and his brilliant robes exploded with light.

A difficult fight with the Drop Bears ensued, and the heroes were victorious, sustaining only mild injuries.

They continued south to the Warforgeds' docked ship, which was ready to depart.

The heroes boarded the ship and were shown to their meager shared room.

They played Deceit to pass the time, and spent the sixth day on this plane with little else to do.

Orryn spoke to a Warforged, learning they were all property of their inventor, Varrek. He also learned that pirate attacks on this route had decreased by a factor of five standard deviations - this change happened abruptly, about three weeks ago.

A few hours into the seventh day, the Warforged all sounded the same alarm in unison. The ship was about to come under siege, and the heroes were told to wait in their room until the fight was complete.

The heroes had a choice to make: would they listen to their Warforged escorts and wait in their room, or join the fight and defend the ship?

They stayed in their cabin and listed as the Warforged were defeated.

Using their cabin entrance as a choke-point, the heroes were able to dispatch of the Locathan attack force and claim the ship as their own.

They sailed to Illud where they traded their ship for one of elvish make, which they dubbed 'Alus Kelytha', or 'Water Horse' in elvish.

The heroes did some shopping in the metropolitan Illud market.

While doing so, they noticed much distrust of Fire Folk and talk of the new king's policies. Many fire folk were being arrested for deportation.

Orryn found a small alter to Mystra where he prayed. He was given a sign to go to Varrek's, and his prayer was answered with a small piece of paper that floated to the ground, which read: find the TRUE Magister, go to Varrek's.

The heroes got a long rest at Senora's, then disembarked to Varrek's island. They sailed for almost a full day without incident.

The heroes had a choice to make: would they listen to their Warforged escorts and wait in their room, or join the fight and defend the ship?

They stayed in their cabin and listed as the Warforged were defeated.

Using their cabin entrance as a choke-point, the heroes were able to dispatch of the Locathan attack force and claim the ship as their own.

They sailed to Illud where they traded their ship for one of elvish make, which they dubbed 'Alus Kelytha', or 'Water Horse' in elvish.

The heroes did some shopping in the metropolitan Illud market.

While doing so, they noticed much distrust of Fire Folk and talk of the new king's policies. Many fire folk were being arrested for deportation.

Orryn found a small alter to Mystra where he prayed. He was given a sign to go to Varrek's, and his prayer was answered with a small piece of paper that floated to the ground, which read: find the TRUE Magister, go to Varrek's.

The heroes got a long rest at Senora's, then disembarked to Varrek's island. They sailed for almost a full day without incident.

Halfway to Varrek's, the heroes ran into a heavy storm.

Some of the water that had spilled onto the deck took form and became a Water Elemental.

The dangerous encounter was made trivial when Senora, who was already very near dead, used her Shape Water spell to hold the Water Elemental in the form of unappealing boobs.

With the Water Elemental destroyed, the heroes made their way to Varrek's unfettered, where they saw a ship full of Tabaxi mercenaries docked, in a standoff with the Warforged.

The heroes were escorted to Varrek's manor atop the island's plateau, where they found Varrek arguing with Banksy, the one Headmaster of Alexandria and Magister of Mystra.

Banksy demanded Varrek either cease production of the Warforged, or take a blood oath to never send them to war. Varrek was increduously refusing any oversight.

Varrek offered Whordi's Friendship (Orryn's favorite pipe and spell focus) as payment for the heroes to be his bodyguards until Banksy left, which Orryn accepted.

After much debate, Juhani simply shot Banksy with a crossbow.

The heroes dragged Banksy to the dungeon, where much to their surprise they learned it was not Banksy at all, but a changeling who had murdered Banks on orders by the leader of the Water Tribe, Pike.

Orryn challenged the changeling to combat, and won the title of Magister of Mystra in a fair duel.

Thad, the human sorcerer the heroes saw outside Duraina's Diner in Femmerouge, had the Tabaxi mercenaries stand down and asked to speak to Varrek about a business arrangement.

Thad hired Varrek to construct a magical barrier capable of stopping gods, based on plans from Aiaren Taurenparma's notebook, a legendary magical artifact he procured while in Femmerouge.

Orryn convinced Varrek to secretly also build a ring that would allow the wearer to pass through the barrier.

The heroes were hired by Varrek to investigate the sudden disruption of mail delivery by the Aarakokra Air Delivery Service.

The heroes were given a free ship and copious provisions for their quest, and set sail west.

Halfway to Illud, the heroes were attacked by a school of Sahuagin. Juhani and Orryn nearly died as they were thrown overboard to sharks.

Luckily, Feng's crate of Hyper Powder gave him just the boost he needed to save them both, with some help from Umop. Sonora was nowhere to be found for the entire fight, having mysteriously vanished while at Varrek's.

One of the Sahuagin pushed Umop's barrel of mead overboard. When the fight was won, Umop tied it to the mast and left it to slowly die of asphyxiation.

Sonora appeared, revealing she had been enjoying the sexual event with a handsome rat she met at Varrek's. She now has a rat familiar, Georgie.

Sonora attempted to question the Sahuagin, but got very little information. She did learn that it was acting under orders by a mysterious enemy before Umop ended its life.

The heroes reached Illud's southern coast, where they weighed their options on how to travel to Zidkaun, the Aarakokra home-island.

They decided to sail due west, a course that maximized their time over water, projecting an additional five days at sea (including the two they'd already spent, which would stretch their supplies to the limit).

On the first day, they passed by a military installation and a resort.

On the second day at sea, they played Deceit and worked on their butthole tans. Juhani began brewing a special batch of beer.

On the third day at sea, they spotted a small island and weighed the decision on whether to sail a day out of they way to avoid it, or sail close enough to it to inspect it. They decided to maintain course.

The heroes were attacked by a gang of Harpies, which they defeated with minor injuries.

On the fourth day at sea, a great whirlpool emerged, and from it a Sea Drake attacked. The heroes defeated the Drake after an astounding series of blows from Juhani.

Having lost their orientation from the whirlpool, the heroes relied on Sonora's butthole to point them in the correct direction, she having just spent so much time pointing it at a certain star.

On the fifth day, the heroes passed a rowboat. After their experience with the Harpies, they decided to steer clear of it.

Finally, Stezok crested the horizon. The heroes prepared for a long rest amid the dwarven fishing boats.

The heroes got a long rest on their ship, just under a mile away from the Stezokian shore.

They spoke to some of the fishermen, who said the Tuna was good around these parts.

They docked their ship, meeting Yuduli the dock manager, a dwarf, and his two dock workers: a human named Harper and an elf named Illithor.

Feng stayed behind to guard the ship while the others climbed the 1000 steps to the great Mithral Doors, where Harsani, the red-headed Los Tharian mother to Umop's son, stood guard. She did not recognize Umop.

The heroes entered the Stezok Market and quickly made their way to Bob's Tavern, where Juhani's work was well known.

Juhani got very drunk in good company, while Sonora finally got laid by a very ugly dwarf named Dirt.

Umop and Orryn headed to Virm Nurn's roost where the Stezokian council was meeting in regards to an Aarakokra who arrived with news of a Fire Folk invasion.

Zidkaun, the Aarkokra homeland, was quickly overrun, as was Shell, the homeland of the Tortles. Refugees fled to the Isle of Enlightenment, and plead for Stezok and others to intervene.

With the Fire Folk's next move unknown, the leaders of Stezok were deciding where to send their forces.

Whordi sensed that Orryn was the Magister of Mystra, which made the council suspicious that the heroes were Fire Folk spies.

To prove themselves as friends of Stezok, the heroes were tasked with rescuing a group of miners that had become trapped in a cave-in.

The heroes descended the many stairs for hours until they reached the underdark, where the Great Forge was at a stand-still.

Nevae, the dark-haired Los Tharian woman, was in charge of the rescue operation, but it was slow-going.

Sonora cast speak with animals and enlarge on a worm, and had it tunnel through the rubble, but it didn't return.

Sonora sent another worm and a bat, neither of which returned.

Sonora cast enlarge on herself, and used her giant strength to finish removing rubble from the top of the pile, allowing a large enough hole for everyone to enter.

Inside the entrance of the mine, they found that five feed of poison gas had incapacitated about a dozen miners.

Juhani jumped into the gas and immediately passed out.

Umop enlisted the help of the dwarf artificer and used his bellow to clear gas from around Juhani, and they pulled Juhani to safety.

The heroes used the same method to save all dwarves from the entrance, then Orryn threw a torch into the gas, which exploded and removed all rubble from the entrance.

Orryn did a triple backflip and landed perfectly during the explosion, taking no damage and looking absolutely legendary.

The heroes learned there were a few dozen more miners to find, and entered a tunnel that leads deeper into the mines.

In the first tunnel, they faced a cave-in, but no one fell into the hole. They saw a giant spider skittering below them in the hole.

The heroes saved the miners from the cave-in, caused by unruly spiders.

They returned to Virm Nurn's roost to advise the counsel, advised where to allocate troops in defense of the Fire Folk invasion, and spent the night at Bob's Tavern for free.

In the morning, the heroes were advised that the counsel would like to speak with them again, so they made their way through the market district.

On their way, Feng received many stares from civilians because of his Fire Folk ancestry.

Sonora and Juhani took a look at a market stand stocked with strap-ons. Sonora made a purchase.

Umop ducked into the woodworking shop owned by Thuen, the blond Los Tharian woman. He spoke with her a bit but made no purchase and no plans with Thuen.

Orryn was stopped by a little girl who asked questions about being the Magister of Mystra. The little girl transformed into Seldom Firebillow, the frenemy of the old Magister of Mystra, the Headmaster of Alexandria.

Orryn defeated Seldom Firebillow with his friends' help, but Seldom escaped via Teleport, leaving a note suggesting this wasn't the last they'd see of him.

The heroes made their way to the stairs at the center of the market district, and ascended to Virm Nurn's roost.

The counsel was already convened for the day, but Whordi was waiting. He tasked the heroes with travelling to Titan, and convincing them to send reinforcements to Sparklerock, without which the rock gnomes were fated to face extinction.

The heroes rushed to the docks, time not on their side, and set sail for Titan.

The first day at sea passed without incident.

At the end of the second day, they located but skipped Umberlee's Temple.

On the third day, they defeated a Sea Drake.

The fourth and fifth day passed without incident, and they arrived in Titan waters.

The heroes docked their ship in Titan's dock, heavily guarded by a powerful naval fleet and zeppelins patrolling the skies.

They were greeted by Mewall, the attractive Cleric they met in Femmerouge, as well as the two disagreeing Paladins Jack and John, whom they also remembered from that night in Femmerouge.

Jack and John were thrilled about the newly elected Supreme Pontiff, whose liberal policies included allowing Paladins to bed women. Mewall was agitated.

They were brought to the ceremony announcing the conclaves decision, a speech delivered in the castle courtyard by Lazlo, the new Supreme Pontiff.

After the speech, they went to the castle gate where they met another familiar face, Bellow.

As foriegn diplomats, they gained access to the castle and were sent to the throne room to speak Lazlo.

They asked Lazlo for aid on behalf of Sparklerock, but Lazlo refused, sending them away.

Near the exit to the castle, the heroes bumped into Wind, the spy-diplomat that was tracking the movements of Thad and the shapeshifter in Femmerouge the night of the explosion.

Wind followed them outside, then led them to a sewer grate under the castle's bridge.

They entered the sewers, where Wind recruited them in his plan to assassinate Lazlo and install Lumaquaria as the successor Supreme Pontiff.

Sonora successfully avoided the twipwire in the first stretch, but stepped on a pressure plate and flung into sewage, where she was covered in poo.

They defeated a swarm of giant rats, and Umop very quickly solved a riddle on a magical door.

Then, they deftly avoided swinging blades, sneakily avoided a Shambling Mound, and reached a grate that required a feat of strength to open.

Feng got them into the Holy Privy with ease, and Sonora sent Georgie, her rat familiar, to scout.

They crept into the bedroom and found three coffins, realizing they were assassinating three very powerful vampires.

First, they latched two of the coffins closed with immovable rod.

Then, they opened Nandor's coffin, and everyone began stabbing and casting as quickly as they could. He was blinded by Umop's exploding arrows, and barely landed a hit before dying to Moonbeam's powerful radiant damage.

They opened the second coffin, which turned out to be Lazlo's. He was a more difficult fight as he avoided being blinded, and Juhani was downed, her life force being drained by Lazlo's bite.

Orryn healed Juhani and they defeated their second vampire.

For Nadja, they decided to open the window. With her coffin bathed in sunlight, they opened the lid and placed the rod of holding on her chest.

Feng was able to hold her down with his strength while Umop deftly placed the rod of holding, and their plan worked. They defeated the third vampire quickly, just as the guards arrived.

Bellow was in charge of the guard, and saw that indeed the dead bodies were vampires, and decided not to punish the heroes for assassinating the Supreme Pontiff, given the circumstances.

The heroes attended the coronation of the new Surpreme Pontiff, Lumaquaria, who promised to return Titan to its Traditional, Conservative values.

Lumaquaria announced Titan would send its army to Sparklerock to aid in the Fire Folk invasion. The heroes boarded the Lead Zeppelin.

Juhani got some ingredients for brewing special batches of beer.

Umop tried and failed to attune to his magical bow.

Orryn tried and failed to gain unique abilities from his title as Magister of Mystra.

Feng successfully won a game of poker against Jack, winning The Throngler, a legendary sword-knife combination that requires attunement.

The heroes arrived in Sparklerock only to learn there is no war in Sparklerock.

They heard there was a party, so they decided to land the airship.

The heroes were about to land their airship when Orryn fell unconscious.

Ryncore sent Orryn an extraplanar telepathic message, which overwhelmed his mind.

They met Ryncore in the Fugue plane by dying, with the plan for Mewal and the paladins to revive them after a few minutes.

Ryncore told them that the veil between Tauren and Xerlli is wearing thin, probably because someone is or is about to do something that requires a metric shit ton of magic.

The heroes recognized that the veil between Tauren and Xerlli sounds a lot like the thing Thad was building for Varrek.

They helped Ryncore put a stop to some mischief caused by Brandobaris, the halfling god of mischief, who was able to pierce the thinned veil.

They defeated Vampsters, the Dread Gazebo, and Manman Men, and in doing so levelled up to level 5.

Ryncore sent them back home, and they now owe Mewal about 10,000 gold worth of flawless diamonds.

The heroes slept for a day, then landed their airship and attended a rave.

They met Orryn's friend, Carwyse, who gave them various drugs for the party.

They participated in the gauntlet - a dungeon challenge that provided entertainment to the party.

They defeated the gauntlet, becoming the first team to ever do so.

As payment for completing the gauntlet, the heroes received Aiaren's Watch of Utilitarianism: whenever the wearer does something evil, 20 proportionally good things happen in Tauren.

Were approach by Mick Malice of the Adventurer's Guild, who brought them to the guild hall and convinced them to assist in a kidnapping exchange.

Saved Mom of Mom & Pop's Mushrooms, and needlessly murdered a Thieves' Guild defector.

Accepted another job investigating the murder of Old Man Zefor.

Met the constable who writes every murder in the city off as a suicide.

Learned that Zefor was killed in a case of mistaken identity. The intended target was Perris Quarterbottom, an assassin himself.

Perris, in an attempt to flee the city, was murdered. The heroes went to Perris' house an investigated, finding a list of his targets. One target is still alive, Orryn’s childhood friend Sefora.

The heroes were attacked while searching the house, defeating several members of the Assassins' Guild.

Sonora took extraordinary measures during interrogation... and 20 proportionally good things happened in Tauren.

The heroes defeated several assassins in the crowd at the rave, saving Sephora.

They crossed Sephora's name of the assassins' list, effectively faking her death.

They got a long rest at the Adventurer's Guild, but were awoken in the middle of the night by a great ripple in the weave.

Orryn received a telepathic message from Ryncore - this time crystal clear - warning him that whatever was happening would happen within the next 3 days.

Mick Malice and Sephora banged it out.

The heroes decided to buy a ship and sail east immediately, despite the impossibility of arriving on time.

They sailed for one uneventful day, shouting their requests for help into the sea, hoping the Water Tribe would hear them and help.

The heroes stumbled into the Temple of Umberlee, which they'd seen before but did not approach.

Out of options, hoping for divine intervention, they entered the temple.

Juhani banished the hydra guarding the entrance.

Sonora, intending to snort a line of drugs off the altar, unintentionally made an offering to the goddess and unlocked the temple entrance.

The heroes were quick of wit on this day, quickly solving all riddles and puzzles.

There were difficult fights, and most of them are bloodied. They know not how deep the temple goes, but hope they're nearing the end...

The heroes had just dropped to fifth sub-basement, and were looking at the closed wheel-locked door...

The heroes completed Umberlee’s trials and she sent you to Varrek’s Island.

The heroes met Raxivort, who revealed you were the result of a Wish spell cast on the Scroll of Tauren, the final hope for two demi-gods in hiding and for the world of Xerlli.

The heroes fought kobolds, orcs, and a troll until Feng’s old friend recognized him and brought you to the Water Tribe tent.

The heroes met King Pike, who was revealed to be Spear Mentos, and learned she’s after Thad’s Ward, a certain Spindle, and the Scroll of Tauren.

A pirate ship crashed into the tent, interrupting your execution order, which was strange because you are very far above sea level.

Strange green humanoids emerged from the crashed ship and began slaying the army.

Orryn saw two streaks of light emerge from the rift in the sky, the Red one going to the Eastern Horizon and the White one going to the Western Horizon.

Spear Mentos retreated with her army while you grabbed Thad’s Ring of Backdoor Entry from the Headmaster of Alexandria.

The heroes entered Thad’s Ward and found Thad, Varrek, and Alexa playing Deceit, unaware that feedback from Thad’s Ward was causing an apocalypse.

Thad used a Teleportation Circle under the rug to transport you to the Teleportation Circle in the Library of Alexandria.

Thad teleported away with his Ward Generator.

The heroes hear footsteps approaching quickly and they will arrive in moments.

The footsteps do not sound like slippers and you hear steel armor.

The heroes made it to Varrek’s island in time for the apocalypse.

The Water Tribe had hired the Fire Folk to assist in sieging Varrek’s island.

Varrek, Alexa, and Thad hid inside Thad’s God-Touched Ward, which created a feedback loop with Aairen’s God-Touched Ward surrounding the planet.

The heroes met King Pike, who was revealed to be Spear Mentos.

She’s after Thad’s Ward, the Infinity Spindle, and the Scroll of Tauren.

A pirate ship full of Githyanki fell out of the sky and landed on the tent, saving you from execution.

Two mysterious streaks of light emerged from a rift in the sky, the Red one going to the Eastern Horizon and the White one going to the Western Horizon.

The heroes saved the world from apocalypse, escaped to the Library of Alexandria, and Thad left with his Ward.

The heroes cleared the Library of Alexandria of its defenses and Varrek decided to make it his new home, while Alexa began reading every book in the Library.

The heroes found the Headmaster’s Suite, where Umop learned more about the Fire Folk battle strategy, and they are laying siege to the smaller Earth Kingdom islands scattered in the north.

Alexa teleported you to Stezok, where you met with Bob and Virm Nurn and got a long rest.

The heroes wake up in Bob’s Tavern.

Sonora feels bloated, fatigued, and sick to her stomach and must make a CON save (13) or vomit.

The heroes meet at breakfast.

• The flying battle in the sky.
• The Red and White streaks of light from the fracture in the sky.
• The massive fracture in the sky.
• Thad’s Ward.
• Aairen’s Scroll of Tauren.
• Raxivort’s Infinity Spindle.
• Spear Mentos controlling a quarter or possibly half the world.

Whordi suggests speaking with Virm Nurn again.

The heroes each received a dragon that can be used as a Spelljammer.

The heroes flew into Wildspace and saw several Drow Spiderships invading a Human Whaleship.

The heroes defeated the Drow and saved the humans.

The heroes decided to escort the humans to Stezok.

The heroes are on the Bridge of the Whaleship speaking to the human in charge, who says the whaleship will be torn up by the debris field on the way in but should make it.

The heroes defeated several Drow Droneships and during the fight Sonora almost killed unconscious Juhani.

The heroes brought eight humans to Stezok and the whaleship was destroyed.

The heroes learned the giant Golden Pyramid ship caused the debris field.

The heroes approached the giant golden pyramid ship and immediately fled its death-beams.

The heroes allied with super-sketch Mind Flayers who had just killed a group of Lizardfolk and Orcs.

The Mind Flayers said they would handle the Giant Golden Pyramid if you helped them destroy everyone else.

The heroes helped the Mind Flayers massacre a group of Githyanki and Drow and Sonora almost hit Juhani with her Spelljammer Sling.

The Mind Flayers took a map from the Drow Mothership that has something to do with the Xvarts and Raxivort.

The Mind Flayers beckon you into battle against nearby Orcs and suggest taking prisoners from the Githyanki pirate ship.

You worked with the Mind Flayers to defeat a dozen Orc ships.

You slayed more than fifty Orcs and captured eight in the hold of your flying pirate ship.

Three Scorpionships remain in workable condition.

Two Mind Flayers are escorting the eight captured Orcs into the ship’s hold cells.

You interrogated an Orc.

You allowed five Orcs to undergo ceremorphosis and assisted three Orcs in taking option B.

You worked with the Mind Flayers to stop a Lizardfolk invasion of a Human Whaleship.

When you realized the Mind Flayers intended to transform the entire whaleship of humans, you attacked the three Mind Flayers that boarded with you.

With the help of Feng’s enthralled Lizardfolk and your dragons, you defeated the three Mind Flayers.

You are on the Whaleship with the humans and have explained the Mind Flayer situation to them.

There are still a few Mind Flayers on the Pirate Ship along with the five Orcs undergoing ceremorphosis, and you hope they are unaware of what transpired.

You defeated the three remaining Mind Flayers by summoning a Terrasque using a Scroll of Summon Terrasque.

The pirate ship was destroyed.

You are on the bridge of the whaleship looking at a Terrasque floating in space alongside a small debris cloud.

Somewhere in that debris cloud is a map that is important for reasons you do not understand.

Umop got laid while the rest of you defeated the remaining Mind Flayers using a Scroll of Summon Terrasque.

The pirate ship was destroyed.

Ryncore arrived, enlisted you as unpaid labor, and sent you on a quest.

The heroes defeated a giant Turkey demi-god.

Ryncore returned you to your own spacetime.

The heroes are on the bridge of the human nudist’s whaleship looking at a Terrasque floating in space with a debris cloud nearby.

The Terrasque should asphyxiate in about fifteen minutes.

Enemy ships are approaching and are about fifteen minutes away.

The heroes retrieved the map from the Terrasque.

Juhani heroically piloted the whaleship back to Stezok and nearly died.

The heroes shopped, then descended one thousand stairs to the shore to investigate a red dot on the map.

The heroes found an X’vart looting the corpses of the Stezokians and Githyanki battle.

The heroes attacked the X’vart and pursued it until a portal opened beneath you and you fell through.

The heroes awaken in a heap on snowy ground in the middle of a familiar ruin.

The heroes again secured the map from the Terrasque and returned to Stezok.

The heroes found an X’vart that looked exactly like Raxivort, who once claimed to know Aiaren before the great battle on Varrek’s peak.

The heroes remembered that Raxivort and Aiaren were hunted by gods and hid together, and that the Scroll of Tauren powered the planetary ward before it broke.

The heroes chased the X’vart through a Ryncore portal into Die Hard 3.

The heroes solved Alan Rickman’s brother’s puzzles, survived his traps, retrieved the town’s stolen gold, and he escaped into the sequel.

The heroes returned through a portal to Stezok’s beach among the fallen.

The blue X’vart is getting away and has just rounded a boulder.

The heroes followed an X’vart and it met with Raxivort the demigod.

Raxivort revealed he has the Infinity Spindle and that the Lich on the giant golden pyramid can track his location.

Raxivort teleported away and can teleport anywhere an X’vart exists, and you possess a map of them all.

Hundreds of zombies fell from the great pyramid and Sonora single-handedly fought them off.

The heroes saved Boblin the Goblin from sharks and got a long rest at Bob’s Tavern.

The heroes survived an attack by Seldom Firebillow but were kicked out of Bob’s Tavern.

The heroes decided to fly your dragons to Alexandria to speak with Varrek about finding Thad.

The heroes plan to take Thad’s God-Touched Ward Generator to trap Raxivort and seize his Infinity Spindle.

With their dragons, the heroes decided to fly west to Alexandria.

They met an Elder Tempest, a giant storm elemental, and fled into space.

They survived a Mindflayer assault, then back into the atmosphere.

The heroes met Pidgeon, an Aarakokra war reporter, and got updates on world news.

They noticed that Little Hraac, Rumblood, and Goblin were all sparsely populated.

The heroes made it to Alexandria, where Varrek and Alexa are still under near constant assault by the wizards.

They decided to scry for Thad's location with the help of Madame Emadam, last seen in Illud.

The heroes made an agreement with Varrek to share the Infinity Spindle, and learned that it is used to turn mortals into gods. Alexa is being sent with the heroes to... assist.

The heroes got a long rest in the comfort of Alexandria's library.

The heroes awoke in the Library of Alexandria. The great crack in the sky had turned green.

Varrek was fiddling with an artifact that fell from the sky onto his lawn.

A rainbow made Umop disappear, leaving a randsom letter and demanding the artifact.

Holding the randsom letter was a cursed golden arrow, prolonged exposure to which transutes people into gold statues. Juhani and Feng both touched the object, and may have permanent marks.

The heroes Flew to the rainbow, a day's flight south-west to Fool's Death.

Fool's Death, a sharp, jagged rock formation in the shape of a black lotus, was guarded by an Ancient White Dragon.

The heroes defeated the Ancient White Dragon, despite the raging storm of its lair. Sonora's dragon nearly died, but everyone pulled through.

They made it to the center of Fool's Death, where Aiaren Taurenparma, holder of the Scroll of Tauren, was inspecting the rainbow's magical properties.

The heroes jumped into the rainbow and were transported to Rainbow Road, a Fey realm in another world, made accessible by the artifact somehow.

Rainbow road is a road made out of rainbow surrounded by impassible clouds. Each color of the rainbow has a different status effect, and the rainbow is bouncy.

The heroes went to pass by some children, but the children stabbed Orryn to unconsciousness, revealed to be Fey Trickster Assassins. Sonora stood on the Green road and healed Orryn back to full health by smacking him in the ass with her Dildo, which apparantly extends her 'touch' range by 5 feet.

They solved a puzzle by hugging a pot of gold, answered a riddle about prisms, and reached the Brewery where Umop was being held hostage.

Umop was nearly entirely transmuted into a gold statue, like several others in the brewery were.

The heroes trusted Umop when he said not to give the bad guy the magical artifact, and they fought a chaotic battle in the Wild Magic Brewery.

In the end, the enemy was randomly transformed into a chicken, Juhani put shackles around the chicken's neck, and someone dealt a point of damage to the chicken. When he regained his normal form, he... died.

The heroes looted a pot of gold, one vial each of the best beer in the world, and a potato.

The brewery disappeared, and the Rainbow Road beneath it had a hole in the shape of the artifact.

Orryn placed the artifact into the hole, and the hereos were transported home, and the great crack in the sky turned back to its normal white.

Aiaren explained that the artifact was a shard of the crack in the sky. Replacing it closed the bridge between this world and Rainbow Road.

Aiaren also reminded the heroes of their first adventure. He said to consider the things they were blind to, the place they didn't go. He suggested the heroes consider sight-seeing nearby places sometimes.

Aiaren gave the heroes another batch of his potion. They are well rested, as are their dragons.

They planned to fly to Illud to find Madame Emadame to find Raxivort to capture him and steal the Infinity Spindle, but what Aiaren said gave them pause.

Aiaren assured them that whatever choice they make must be the right one, because it's fate. They're here because Aiaren foresaw the fissure destroying all life, so he cast Wish for a chance that not all life was destroyed, and the heroes appeared. Whatever they do will be the exact right thing.